Almost everyone is interested in overcoming fear – or should be.
Whether you want to speak in public, open a new business, talk to potential dates, do stand-up comedy, climb a mountain — or anything you haven’t done before — you’re bound to feel fear and want help in overcoming fear.
Well, how do you do it?
After recording six albums of songs, my Band of Legends politely nudged me to perform live.
While I’ve spoken on stage numerous times over the decades, I never sang on stage.
Thinking about it brought up serious fears.
A friend remembers me saying I would NEVER sing in public.
I had to overcome panic attacks, anxiety ambushes, and near nervous breakdowns to overcome the fear of public speaking.
But public singing?
I didn’t even sing in the shower.
Childhood memories of being humiliated when I tried to speak or sing stayed with me.
I overcame the speaking one.
But I refused to even touch singing.
It felt too vulnerable.
I managed to do it in the studio for my six albums, by basically managing my adrenaline, but I couldn’t accept ever singing on stage live.
But I did it.
I did it!
And it was a huge success.
I was strong and confident, owned the stage, and led my Band of Legends into a triumphant performance.
It was a historic moment.
It was a personal breakthrough.
And it will live forever in my mind as a moment of greatness for me.
So, how did I go from terrified to terrific?
I’ll share my own process, as it will illustrate the art of overcoming fear. I’m sure you can be inspired by this adventure.
I of course did all the standard things that I teach, from practicing ho’oponopono (as I wrote about in my books, Zero Limits and AT Zero) to rehearsing in the studio and in my mind.
But two months before the show, I also —
A basic rule of self-improvement is this:
You can accomplish more if you have someone who believes in you almost more than you believe in yourself.
I first saw that insight in the home of Jerry and Esther Hicks, of Abraham fame, decades ago. Jerry (who has passed on and I greatly miss) told me he first heard it in an early television western. I don’t recall the name of the show, but I do remember the impact the principle had on me.
I started Miracles Coaching more than a decade ago for that reason – to give people someone who could believe in them.
To help them overcome fear.
To help them attract miracles.
I’ve had a lot of people support me and coach me in performing:
Jen Sincero is a badass author of two NY Times bestselling books, You Are A Badass and the recent You Are A Badass at Making Money. I discovered her first book years ago, knew it would be a hit, and interviewed her. We stayed in touch.
I had lunch with Jen when she came to Austin for a book signing. I knew she had been in a band at one point, so I told her my dilemma. She told me that I had already done the hard part of singing.
“You sang for Melissa Etheridge,” she explained, referring to when I had a private songwriting lesson with the rock icon last November. “Singing one on one is harder than singing on stage, and you sang for an icon you idolize and adore.”
The last time I saw Melissa Etheridge, just for a moment after her show in San Antonio in June, she told me she loves my latest album, The Great Something.
She said to “Keep at it.”
I dedicated that album to her. There’s a song on it I wrote for her.
Her encouragement helped me stay motivated.
She once told me, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.”
Sarah McSweeney is a singer-songwriter who is on my first album, Blue Healer. She was the first person I sang for.
We met and she told me she always feels nervous before getting on stage. But she thinks of herself as a messenger, not a singer.
That reframe made the idea of singing easier.
“I am a messenger,” she said. “I focus on the song’s message.”
That insight helped me drop the idea of being a singer and adopt the idea of being a messenger. It helped me relax a little.
Meghan Sandau is a new friend. She has promoted big music events. She wanted to see me do a concert. She said she likes my music.
Her belief in me helped make me more secure.
In fact, none of this would happen without her.
She set up the event for my Band of Legends to perform.
She held my hand and encouraged me.
Meghan also suggested I do an energy clearing session with Nicole Pigeault of Los Angeles. I love energy work and do clearings for others so I leaped at the chance to hire Nicole.
Turned out to be one of the most powerful esoteric washes ever.
The hour session helped me release fears and settle into confidence.
But she wasn’t the only person to support me.
Guitar Monk Mathew Dixon has been coaching me for years now. We’ve made numerous instrumental albums together, such as Invoking Divinity.
He stayed in my corner, listening to me rehearse, listening to me confide my fears, and urging me to hang in there.
Then there’s Patrick Stark in Canada. He’s a filmmaker making a movie about overcoming fear.
It’s called “One Life: No Regrets.”
He interviewed me for it. He plans to sing on stage with the band U2. But it will be the first time he’ll sing on stage EVER.
The first time you sing in public anywhere is on stage with U2 and thousands watching.
Well, if Patrick can drum up that kind of courage, then so can I.
I found preparing for the event mainly a battle with my mind. Most of my thinking was negative. It was all, What if it goes bad?
But Mindy Audlin came to visit. She teaches what if up thinking.
She wrote the book What If it All Goes Right?
She coached me in other ways to think: what if it is a breeze? What if I love it?
It also helps to see people successful in one field try their hand in a completely different field.
James Altucher tried stand-up-comedy. He’s a writer. He’s doing something out of his comfort zone.
But he’s willing to do it for the experience, and he’s sharing his learning curve to inspire others.
Though I haven’t met him, knowing he was stepping out beyond his fear fortified me to do it, too.
Of course, my beautiful Nerissa (above) believed in me, too.
She and I practiced “The Remembering Process” that Daniel Barrett taught me: we talked about the live show as if it had happened in the past and we were remembering how great it went. (See the book Daniel and I wrote: The Remembering Process.)
So the first thing I did was gather people who could coach and inspire me.
To prepare for my show, I attended an online Masterclass with David Mamet, and another with Usher.
Both were astoundingly good.
Mamet is a Pulitzer prize-winning playwright and screenwriter. I think he is a genius.
He said most people are afraid to be bad to be good.
You have to be bad first to start being good.
You have to start someplace.
I reminded myself of this as I prepared for the live event.
While I wanted to step out on stage and be “perfect,” Mamet reminded me that I will probably step out and be bad.
But bad is where you start. You can’t get to great without starting at bad.
Usher said to prepare, to be confident, but to expect something to go wrong.
Don’t expect perfection.
He told a story of a performance where he injured himself at the beginning of a two-hour show, and had to keep dancing and singing despite the pain.
His insights and pointers were priceless in helping me create a mindset for success.
And I bought a set of audios called The Relaxed Musician. It’s a 14-day course in exploring limiting beliefs.
It helped me realize I had a big belief that if I looked bad as a performer, it would hurt my reputation in other areas, such as an author or speaker.
But like most beliefs, it didn’t hold up.
I could forget all my lyrics and totally wash out on stage and it wouldn’t even dent my image anywhere else. Most people forgive and forget.
In fact, a miss on stage could give me a terrific story about how I bombed and lived.
But I didn’t stop there.
I read a terrific book on how to deliver an unforgettable live performance. I liked the book so much, I read it twice.
It was called, The Musician’s Guide to a Great Live Performance.
It became my bible. I read it on planes, took it with me on my iPad, and shared it with singer-songwriter friends.
And I read a wonderful book on overcoming fear and panic, titled You 1, Anxiety 0.
Author Jodi Aman helped take the mask off of fear so I could see what it really was: an illusion. I soaked up the wisdom in this book. It really helped me.
I also read a 1950 book by Vernon Howard called Word Power.
It was about how you talk to yourself, as well as to others, effects your behavior and your results. It’s not so much affirmations but self-talk.
Pretending you are fearless by saying “I am a fearless performer” is a way to begin being a fearless performer.
And I read a recent book, called Succeed.
It explained that just visualizing success is a plan for failure unless you also visualize planning for setbacks.
In other words, thinking the show will go without a flaw is not realistic, as Usher pointed out. There is no such thing as perfection.
But visualizing success, and understanding there is work to do to get there, can almost guarantee the result you want.
That was a mind-spinning insight.
I did more, too.
With Meghan’s urging, I wrote out a script of how I wanted the show to go.
I focused on my feelings, not anyone else’s, so I could focus on what I could control.
The script was a type of Nevillizing (which I write about in my book, The Attractor Factor): feeling as if the event already happened, and happened the way I envisioned it.
I wrote the script from the point of view of the next day, after I performed on stage.
I read and re-read it every day for a week before the show.
I got massages, I got plenty of rest, I drank lots of water, and I went into a flotation tank at The Zero Gravity Institute for 90 minutes the day before the show.
I was doing whatever I could to be at peak form when I stepped on stage.
I was taking care of my body and mind.
I was getting ready for my moment.
Faith doesn’t always mean something religious.
Faith in yourself, faith in other people, faith in my practice and prep, faith in my Band of Legends – all of it gives a level of confidence that allows the best to surface.
As a slogan I coined says, “It is what you accept.”
I accepted that the moment would be perfect, even in any imperfections.
It would be “perfectly imperfect.”
And, after two months of preparing, what happened?
My Band of Legends and myself performed on July 21st at The Townsend in Austin.
I’m the luckiest musician alive to have a band of this caliber: Drummer Joe Vitale (yes, same name as mine), bass man Glenn Fukunaga and lead guitarist Daniel Barrett.
These incredible musicians encouraged me, supported me, and brought my songs to life.
We raised the roof and tore down the walls.
We shook the earth and wowed the crowd.
Talk about overcoming fear!!!
I gave everything I had in me, delivering my messages with energy, enthusiasm, electricity, and a sense of fearlessness and fun.
At the end of our set, we got a standing ovation.
A standing ovation!
I did it.
And I loved it!
Now, what do you fear that is time for you to do?
Isn’t today a good day to begin overcoming fear?
The two most popular books I’ve written are hands down Zero Limits and AT Zero, both about ho’oponopono.
Both led to an awakening for readers worldwide.
Both went beyond the Law of Attraction and the movie The Secret.
Both told the incredible but true story of Dr. Hew Len, an unusual therapist who helped heal an entire ward of mentally ill criminals in a Hawaii state hospital.
His method of healing is called ho’oponopono.
The basic four phrases of this Hawaiian healing method – I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you – are easy and practical.
Just say them inside yourself while addressing your connection to the Divine, or what I sometimes call The Great Something.
That alone works miracles, as my books report.
But there’s more to it.
I’ve been studying and practicing this method for more than ten years.
I’ve taught it, written about it in two books, shared it on numerous shows and in movies, used it publicly and privately, held three seminars with Dr. Hew Len teaching it, recorded healing music and songs with it, created a basic certification course in it, and much more.
I’ve also gone beyond it.
As I’ve explained in such books as The Awakening Course, ho’oponopono is actually a third stage tool.
There’s still the fourth stage of awakening, which is beyond basic ho’oponopono.
There are more methods, phrases, tools, and techniques to help you relax into the moment and be at peace.
There are deeper ways to attract miracles.
There are more ways to clean and clear.
There are other ways to awaken.
What are they?
I’ll be sharing them at a private event March 10-12, 2017 outside of Austin, Texas. Details are at http://advancedhooponoponolive.com/
I won’t be doing it alone.
I’ll have Austin All Natural magazine editor Michael Abedin (above left) speak about Reiki, Bach flower remedies and forgiveness. Michael is a terrific storyteller and riveting speaker. His insights will startle and soothe. He also tells good jokes. He’ll tie all of this to advanced ho’oponopono.
Guitar Monk Mathew Dixon will be discussing the use of Ho’oponopono infused music and its ability to align spiritual vibration, clean data/memory/beliefs, and clear your ethereal passages for Divine inspiration.
He and I have made several inspired albums of divine music. We will share how music heals and helps. We will also show you how to apply inspiration in any area of your life. You will learn to clean memory so you can receive inspiration.
Dr. Steve G. Jones, Clinical Hypnotherapist, will teach you about hypnosis and how to re-program yourself, enabling you to better practice Ho’oponopono. Dr. Steve will even be sharing an empowering hypnosis session. Together he and I will explain that you are in a trance right now, and how to awaken from it.
Dr. Steve is a board certified Clinical Hypnotherapist who has been practicing hypnotherapy since the 1980s. He is the author of 25 books on such topics as hypnosis, the law of attraction and weight loss. Steve has also created over 9,000 hypnosis audio recordings and 22 different online certification programs, which are sold in over 140 countries.
Chuck Pennington will show you how to harmonize with the Universal Mind and take that energy home with you. He will teach you how to create a Ho’oponopono Mastermind so you can help others as they help you.
Have you ever gone to a seminar, gotten home, and a week or two later that “seminar buzz” wears off and you’re right back where you were?
Chuck will show you how to maintain that buzz and to make sure that not only your thoughts, but your actions stay in harmony with the clearing and cleaning energy of the sacred spiritual advanced ho’oponopono weekend.
Harry B-Happy Bartholomew is a former Buddhist Monk, music producer and energy healer practicing and teaching Reiki, Adhisthana healing, Medicine Buddha healing, 42 eyes and hands of the Great Compassion Sutra, who first started practicing Ho’oponopono in 2008.
One of his main practices is his work doing empowerments using Gongs, Singing Bowls, and Ho’oponopono. During this spiritual retreat, he will not only perform these empowerments for all in attendance, but will also talk about his journey, how he uses his gongs and bowls as cleaning and empowerment tools, and how you can develop your own tools.
Everyone attending will be given a crystal, which will be infused with energy for clearing and healing. Many things in ho’oponopono are talismans, and this crystal will be set aflame with the clearing energy of the group. You will be able to carry it and use it as a touchstone for clearing.
I will of course review the basic ho’oponopono process, and teach everyone advanced methods of clearing and healing, including how to use EFT and ho’oponopono, and the new phrases for cleaning. I will share stories and processes that have never been revealed before, many of my own discovery.
There will be other speakers besides those listed above, too. Check the main site for up-to-date information.
Everyone attending will be certified as Ho’oponopono Advanced Practicioners.
If you have suspected that there is more to spirituality, healing and ho’oponopono, then this weekend spiritual retreat will be your cup of tea.
Details are at http://advancedhooponoponolive.com/
When it comes to using the Law of Attraction to manifest a miracle, or to attract anything you’ve been wanting, a few key principles are essential.
I explain this in-depth in my forthcoming new book, The Miracle: Six Steps to Enlightenment, which launches December 6 as a paperback, Kindle e-book, and on audio.
A few of the keys are –
You get what you expect. Expectation is built on belief.
Your beliefs filter reality so you only see what matches your beliefs.
Your actions will stem from your beliefs and expectations.
In short –
If you don’t act, you reduce your chances to create anything.
If you don’t believe, you won’t even try.
If you don’t expect, you will attract a match to your lack of belief.
You can use these insights on anything you want to attract or achieve.
Want a better job?
Want to attract your soulmate?
Want enlightenment or spiritual awakening?
Ask yourself –
Do you believe it’s possible?
Do you expect to succeed?
Are you taking inspired action to attract it?
If you answered “yes” to all the questions, then go forth and congrats on your new job, soulmate, or awakening.
But if you answered “no” to any of the questions, then you have some inner work to do.
And that’s where my new book The Miracle will help you.
It’s packed with processes, exercises, stories, tips, techniques, principles and more.
It covers everything from the basics to advanced law of attraction, mind power, activating your brain, goals, clearing, intentions, counter-intentions, beginning and advanced ho’oponopono, Neville manifestation, the secret prayer, and so much more.
You will also get more than $5,000 worth of bonuses when you go get The Miracle from Amazon on Tuesday, December 6, 2016.
One of the gifts is my brand new online video training called “A Beginner’s Guide to Miracles.”
I am very excited as this is my most definitive book on how to attract what you want and achieve spiritual enlightenment along the way.
Bestselling author Susan Shumsky said, “In The Miracle, Joe helps us unearth the cause behind our deepest unconscious beliefs and shows us how to transform them…He helps us create and live miracles every day.”
You can learn more at http://www.TheMiracleBook.info
Meanwhile, Expect Miracles!
PS – Mark your calendar. Everything happens on Tuesday, December 6, 2016. See http://www.TheMiracleBook.info for details.
The other day I went to a local Sprint phone store to get a newer modem.
As it turned out, a miracle happened.
Since I’ve been a Sprint customer for more than ten years, I have a collection of modems that are now prehistoric. I once took a few of them to the store and the clerks took pictures of them. They had never seen the old models. They were like dinosaurs to them.
So I picked up a new and improved whiz-bang latest greatest modem and drove off.
At home, I realized that the modem didn’t have a power cord.
Apparently I had left it at the store.
Dismayed, I called the store and asked for the clerk who waited on me.
“This is Angie,” she said, brightly.
“Angie, I think I left –”
“You left the power cord here!” she interrupted, remembering me. “I forgot to put it in the box.”
I started to complain about how this would require me leaving my home again and making another drive back to the city. I wasn’t looking forward to it, as the store isn’t right around the corner. I live in the Hill Country, not the city. Plus I keep a busy schedule.
But before I could say much of anything, Angie interrupted me.
“I’ll bring it to you,” she said.
I was stunned.
I was speechless.
I was quiet for a moment while I replayed what I heard in my mind, not believing it.
“You’ll bring it to me?” I asked. “I don’t live near you, you know.”
“It’s okay,” she said. “It’s my fault and I’d be glad to drive it to you right after I get off work today.”
She did, too.
She was all smiles as she handed me the cord at my house.
“Do you live out here someplace?” I asked.
“No, but don’t think anything of it,” she said. “It was my choice.”
Angie’s astonishing customer service and upbeat attitude got me thinking about a book one of my nephews told me about.
Extreme Ownership is a New York Times bestseller by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin.
It explains the leadership skills of the U.S. Navy Seals. It’s a well written book, with stories from the military as well as business, with principles they teach to get stellar results.
What interested me was the idea of full – or extreme – responsibility.
But Extreme Ownership strips away the spirituality and explains “extreme responsibility” as a practical tool in business and life.
I have no idea if Angie read Extreme Ownership, but her instant willingness to satisfy her customer reflected an attitude of total responsibility.
She didn’t pass the buck.
She didn’t tell me to drive back in.
She didn’t complain or blame or refrain.
She took responsibility.
She took extreme ownership.
And she has a friend, a fan, and a fanatic customer for life.
How does this apply to you?
Whenever you are about to complain that someone didn’t do something you asked for, turn it around and claim “extreme ownership” for the problem.
Look in the mirror and accept responsibility for your own lack of communicating how important the job was.
Look to yourself for your lack of leadership skills.
And then do something to correct it.
The other night I watched a brief biography of President John F. Kennedy.
When the Bay of Pigs was a disaster in 1961, and soldiers lost their lives, Kennedy went on national television and accepted total responsibility for the tragedy.
You may not be president, but you ask people to do things and they often don’t do them.
Are you going to blame them or find a way to resolve the issue?
Extreme ownership – whether taught by the U.S. Navy Seals or the practiciners of ho’oponopono – is about taking full responsibility and fixing the problem from within you.
Of course, at a certain point, you may decide to remove the people who aren’t doing what they promise, no matter how many times you explain it or in so many different ways.
That’s when you need to pull a Donald Trump and say, “You’re fired!”
But that decision only comes after exhausting your alternatives and taking extreme responsibility for the results – or lack of them.
As my new motto states, “It is what you accept.”
What are you accepting?
PS – Have you read my new book?
Recently on my Facebook fan page I posted this thought:
“Whenever you get upset, it’s because you went unconscious. A hidden belief was activated. Become aware of the belief, release it, and the upset vanishes. You are then able to clearly see what to do next in the moment.”
The idea is to become aware.
When something upsets you, it’s not because of the “something” but because of your internal trigger, usually an unconscious belief.
When you become aware of the belief, you can remove the trigger.
Then when “something” happens that used to upset you, you will be calm, and better able to see your choices in the moment.
In other words, when you get upset, you have to become acutely sensitive to what belief in you is being activated.
Under your emotions is a thought about how things “should” be.
Because things are suddenly not as your unconscious mind expected, a switch was thrown, a belief was activated, and you became upset.
But once you realize what the belief is, you can change it and no longer attract the experience.
As I also posted one time —
“The meaning you give an event is the belief that attracted it.”
Once you clear the belief, you no longer need situations to remind you of it.
One way to find the belief, is to ask yourself what the situation means.
All of those statements seem like accurate observations of reality by the person stating them.
On one level, they are accurate.
But in unfiltered objective reality those statements are the beliefs that are attracting the subjective reality.
Clear the belief and you won’t attract the experience, or, if you attract something akin to it, it won’t bother you.
You’ll be free.
From time to time I post nuggets like that to help you do one thing: awaken.
For example, a while back I posted this:
“If you don’t have some self doubts and fears when you pursue a dream, then you haven’t dreamed big enough.”
The idea behind that one is to get you to stretch, and realize stretching will bring up any beliefs counter to your goal, what I call counter-intentions.
In other words, going for a big dream will make you excited and uncomfortable, at least until you clear the negative beliefs.
Because you’re leaving your comfort zone.
By the very nature of the phrase “comfort zone,” you will be uncomfortable when you leave it.
But that doesn’t mean you aren’t to go for your dreams.
It simply means that when you pursue a new goal, your limiting beliefs around it will surface.
Which brings up the question, how do you clear limiting beliefs and counter-intentions?
I’ve written and recorded numerous books and audios about many different processes you can use, from ho’oponopono to The Remembering Process to Nevillizing to the Fourth Dimension Process to Miracles Coaching and more.
But today I’m excited to announce that I will be teaching a six week class on all of this.
It’s called “Expect Miracles.”
It will be my definitive course on going beyond where you might be stuck to living a life of magic and miracles.
It will take you from beginning to advanced to awakening.
It will contain processes, meditations, visualizations and more, all led by me, all designed to help you.
It will take quotes like this from me and explain them:
“You created this moment from what you thought and felt three days ago. What you are thinking and feeling right now will create your next moments.”
In other words, Expect Miracles will help you understand how your mind works, so you can actually go past the mind and merge with the energy vortex of life itself.
In that realm, miracles are the norm.
The course begins November 10, 2015.
If this is something that resonates with you, then check it out at http://mval.li/?a=5325&c=1676&p=r&s1=
Remember – Expect Miracles!
PS – For more quotes from me, one place to look is at http://addicted2success.com/quotes/36-joe-vitale-quotes-to-inspire-a-life-of-abundance/