How to Stop Struggling

ABC, CBS, Fox and many national television news shows are interested in my movement to stop homelessness, called Operation YES.

They want to hand me a family that has lost their home, or is about to, and have me work with them as they televise the process.

I’m game. I want to prove that any situation can be changed by handling your belief system, focusing on what you want, consciously implementing the law of attraction, and taking action.

But while I’m eager to make this happen and help millions of people, I also know the people I talk to have to be ready to change.

For example, one news station found a woman who had lost her voice box due to cancer, and then her job.

She has four kids and no way to talk to them. She now writes to them on a white board.

Her husband quit his job to help her, and now they may lose their home.

I asked for more details. I could see from the video footage the news station sent me that the woman is strong. She wrote “I am a fighter” on her white board and showed the camera. I’m convinced she can find new income and save her home with some direction and support.

But I wanted to know more about the husband.

As I wrote in my book The Attractor Factor, if two people are involved in a project, both have to be clear for them to achieve their intended result. If one isn’t, he or she could hold up progress.

So I asked about the husband.

The reporter was impressed at my “astuteness,” as she said the husband was the weak link.

He quit his job when he didn’t have to. Neighbors were willing to drive the woman to her doctor appointments, and help with her children.

If I worked with this couple, I’d have to see that the husband was open to change. Apparently he isn’t, as the news reporters themselves told me so. (The husband later wrecked the car.)

If I worked with the woman, but the husband resisted my help, there would be little if any permanent change.

But this isn’t an excuse to blame other people.

If you’re in a situation where you are struggling, ask yourself how you can get clear of the inner issues in you causing the struggle.

As I’ve explained in my book Zero Limits, and in The Key, the issues aren’t with other people or outer circumstances: they are with you.

Get clear within you and those people will either change or move on.

I’m working on my own inner blocks so I can help anyone, even the husband who may be resistant.

Still, your “circle of support” (as I wrote about the other day) will uplift you or deflate you, depending on their mindset. 

If that woman got inspired because of my personal help, but then went home to her husband who ridiculed her or me, she’d have less energy to make a change. She could still make a change, but it’d be much tougher.

If you want to stop struggling, you need at least these things —

1. The decision to have something better.

2. Support to take new actions.

3. Clearing of your beliefs.

With those three steps you can change any situation. Again, it’s not the situation at issue. It’s your inner state.

And you can change that – with help.

Ao Akua,


PS – One way to get the uplifting support you need is with a coach. Check out my Miracles Coaches at 

Note: I wrote about “circles of support” here: 


  1. September 3, 2008 at 2:16 pm

    I can’t wait to see Operation YES in action on national TV! I went to the Operation YES web site and signed up the other day but so far have not received anything except a confirmation email. Has the program not been launched yet?

    Yours in Absolute Abundance, utter gratitude and boundless joy,
    Kalea Makana
    “The Abundance Chick”

  2. September 3, 2008 at 3:30 pm

    Wow. Beautiful post. It’s great you could see the whole situation before you even entered into it! Before even meeting them! ha. Good work. I like a lot of things you say in this post. I believe that we are now entering into a period of consciousness where we know things in advance, but not like being psychic, but rather with a great ability to see everything clearly for what it is – just by looking at something directly.

    This sounds like a good show – and an interesting project for you! I am curious to see what happens. Keep letting us know who the other possible contestants are!

  3. September 3, 2008 at 8:22 pm

    Right on the button doc! Well done and God bless you for your efforts, and well done on your astuteness in asking about the husband.
    You deserve all the fame, wealth and success you’re enjoying right now and I truly wish you more of it! As we say in Arabic, Allah yiwafiqak (loosely translated: God give you success)

  4. Theresa-Reply
    September 3, 2008 at 11:19 pm

    I must have missed something. The way I’ve read this is that the wife has cancer and has lost her voicebox, and the husband is wrong for wanting to be with his wife and help her, instead of going off 8+ hours a day? I don’t know the family, and I figure that you can’t go much into detail, but to criticize him for that seems to me to really be lacking in compassion.

  5. Ana-Reply
    September 5, 2008 at 2:16 pm

    hello Joe.
    I’m from Portugal, and I’ve just finish reading your book “Beyond the Attractor Factor”, and I must say that was a very exciting experience, I immediately began to follow the 5 steps. It’s was so easy to understand and i have put them to work the second I finish reading.
    In my case, I’m looking for a relationship with this particular guy, and I’ve followed all the steps, the scripting process was amazing, the final step i’ve found a little tricky, i’ve understood it, but I just don’t know what to do until i “wait” for my intuition to “tell me” what kind of inspired action i should take, maybe I’m putting it the wrong way, I just want to know if there’s something I can do in a daily basis to help me achieve what i want.

    I know this is probably not the place to be talking about this subject, but I need some help and i just thought this way I would reach to you.

    P.S Sorrrry for my bad english 😐

  6. Dear, Precious and Beloved Joe,

    You can help them! Do what you always teach others, clear your own beliefs that tells you that her husband is a hinder.

    You are such a great soul and you have so much spiritual assistance that nothing can stop you. You can help them! Go along! You are not alone! You can do it!

    Please forgive me!
    I love You!
    Thank You!

    Lily On Earth

  7. September 6, 2008 at 9:42 am

    so glad to see that you agree. I wrote in a comment on an earlier post that, while it’s a noble idea to want to end homelessness, it’s (in my opinion) an impossible task because some just don’t want the help.

    When I wrote it, I wondered if you would see it as a negative comment, which it wasn’t intended to be. I’m all for helping anyone who wants it but know that, in order to be of help, the recipient must want the help.

    I beat myself up for several months once trying to instill the “I can” attitude into a friend of mine. Afterward, I realized that, as nice a guy as he was, he was so hung up in feeling sorry for himself he enjoyed it. He didn’t want to change.

    Since his attitudes and constant fears and worries were bringing me down, I finally broke my ties to him.

  8. September 6, 2008 at 10:39 am

    HI Duane. I do not agree that homeslessness can’t be stopped. That’s not what I said. It’s quite a jump to go from my saying the father was a weak link to homelessness can’t be stopped. In fact, since my blog post I’ve put together a bigger team of people and resources, and we will go in and begin the process of permanent change. But saying homelessness can’t be stopped is part of the homelessness problem. It’s a perception creating the reality, not the other way around.

  9. September 8, 2008 at 2:26 am

    Dear Dr. Vitale,

    I’m enjoying your blog & your products and so are the changes in my life-:))
    I’m from Israel, an NLP Trainer & I’m trying to reach you (by email) for about 2 months, with no success so far.
    Yet, I hope you’ll see this massage & give me an email address so I can send you an email – the people in Israel would be happy to see you, to hear you & to feel your lovely energy.

    My email address – [email protected]

    Thank you for being such an amazing inspiration

    All The Best Always,



  10. September 9, 2008 at 5:51 am

    Hello Joe,

    The story with the the family where the husband resists change got me thinking.

    I know that resistance to change happens quite often and it is no surprize that there are couples where only one of them is ready for change by him/herself. My guess that the ordinary case is that both of them resist to change. In the majority of the rest, only one person is ready for change. I think it is very rare to have couples where both of them are ready for change.

    What we need here is a solution, i.e. a strategy on how to motivate people for being ready to change, for being ready to work on themselves, for being ready to accept real help ( as opposed to compensation-only help ), …

    Unfortunately I do not have such a strategy but I am very interested to have one or find one. BTW, The implications of the availability of such a strategy would be enourmous and really earch-awakening.

    My guess is that this is primarily a marketing/selling problem. Although one which has not yet gotten as much research as commercial selling. So, while it may be possible to manifest a quick solution, probably it’ll take some reasearch work and/or cleaning work on oneself to remove the blocks which currently block the intuition on how such a strategy looks like.

  11. September 9, 2008 at 9:25 am

    Hello again Joe,

    Here’s another side to view the situation of this couple or of mixed ready-for-change not-ready-for-change couples in general:

    I think that it is not true that her husband can really hold her back if she is really ready to change.

    I think that the following is much more likely:
    * She will have to do much much more cleaning and self-development work in order to be successfull despite her husband’s attitude.
    * This will make her very very strong.
    * This will result in a strong difference in development state between the two.
    * This difference will either motivate her husband to do self-development, too or it will tear apart the relationship ( if that happens, he will end the relationship… )

    So I think, she has a chance despite her husband’s current mindset.

    But, to come back to the original topic: The need for her to do much much more cleaning may mean that this couple may not be suitable for the specific setup with the TV-stations because visible success may take longer than the TV-stations are willing to wait. So, that’s maybe the underlying reason for your intuition with respect to that couple.

    On the other hand, if this couple can become successful through your help within the attention-span of a TV-station, then this would be a very strong message:
    * If they can do that, everybody can
    * Nobody has to wait for their partner to become interested in self-development, too.
    So, everybody can start right away. No excuses.

    So, maybe your intuition told you that it is just much more difficult which you can also interpret as a vakueable hint for preparing accordingly and executing/implementing accordingly instead of just not doing it.

    Best wishes to you,


  12. Susan-Reply
    September 11, 2008 at 8:12 am

    Good luck. Peace and love. xxx

  13. Holmes Garcia-Reply
    September 12, 2008 at 1:59 pm

    hi joe.
    i´ve been your fan, somethings are going well, but other going wrong.
    i need to attrract money, but it is not possible. i do not why.
    i want to read your books.
    i want to buy the books of Pelmanist, and every thing you show.
    another thing is my english is not very well to understand the teleseminars.
    what do i have to do?

  14. Holmes Garcia-Reply
    September 12, 2008 at 2:01 pm

    sorry i forgot something…THANkS A LOT and GOD bless you.
    i hope you help me.


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