Have you ever noticed a reoccurring theme in someone’s life?
Maybe even yours?
It’s the same issue again and again, maybe with different characters playing it out, but it’s always the same problem at heart.
Why is it always the same problem?
For example, for most of my life I had problems with money.
I was homeless for a while, lived in virtual poverty for years, declared bankruptcy once, went to court and was fined for bad checks I had written, was constantly in debt and always desperate for money.
I had that same problem for most of my adult life.
Beliefs like these fueled it — though I was unconscious of them at the time — I don’t deserve money, money is bad, money is not spiritual, rich people are greedy, I’ll never succeed, I’m not good enough, business is bad, there’s not enough, etc.
So the life pattern of having money problems surfaced again and again, with my car breaking down, accidents, illness, unforeseen emergencies, etc.
I had the same problem with losing weight.
I spent most of my life, from childhood on, fighting with obesity.
The operating beliefs behind that reoccurring problem — again, most of which were unconscious to me — were diets don’t work, I hate exercise, healthy foods taste like crap, my DNA is wrong, I’m destined to be fat, fat people are safe, fat people are happier, nobody likes me anyway, etc.
I had the best of good intentions for wanting to be healthy and wealthy, but the unconscious counter-intentions stopped them from being manifested.
And that pattern continued until I unravelled the beliefs and broke free.
This is true for all of us.
Even you.
If you look at your life with an objective eye (knowing that is not fully possible but go with me on this), you’ll see patterns.
Maybe it’s always a relationship issue…or health issue…or money issue…or work issue….or — you name it.
For example, I discovered a pattern in myself that I had been unaware of until last weekend.
Three people I know (or thought I knew), one of whom has been a dear family friend for over a decade, came out with a book slamming The Secret, with me in it, and none of them shared the book with me, or even told me when it came out.
I had to stumble upon it six months after the fact.
I was more upset that none of these friends had the decency to share their project with me, than that they wrote it.*
I was sick for several days.
I was literally ill.
I had a fever, weakness, aching joints, coughing fits, etc.
Why?
Every time something happens, there is meaning behind it. When you stop and reflect, you can decode the operating beliefs that brought it about.
In my case I caught a bug, and that bug was named betrayal.
As I looked back, I saw that “betrayal” had been a pattern in my life, just as money issues and obesity once were.
Because of hidden operating beliefs, the pattern came into reality one more time. If you’ve read The Attractor Factor, you know the nightmarish betrayal explained at the end of that book. I’m no stranger to it.
Obviously, I had attracted my experience.
This post isn’t about betrayal, it’s about patterns.
Your patterns.
And mine.
But here’s the good news: once you learn the lesson from the pattern, you no longer need the pattern.
You can actually stop the patterns!
I’ve done it with money.
I’ve learned that the more money I make, the more I can help myself and my world.
Whether it’s a Panoz exotic sports car or a $15,000 therapy machine for a child I don’t know, I’m now able to make the choice and write the check.
It’s a beautiful place to be.
I’ve done it with obesity.
I’ve lost 80 pounds and been in seven fitness contests.
The obesity pattern is history, too.
Now that I’m aware of the old betrayal pattern, I can let it go, as well.
Sometimes all you need is the awareness that you attracted what you got due to your beliefs.
Sometimes you can do EFT on a belief and it will vanish like the wind.
Sometimes you have to sit down and consciously search and find your beliefs, and then choose to let them go as you insert new ones in their place.
And sometimes you have to hire a Miracles Coach to help you climb out of the mental quicksand.
The point, again, is that you and I are co-creating our reality with our beliefs.
If you’ve got a reoccurring pattern in your life, it’s not your fault and it’s not anyone’s else’s fault. It’s simply mental software. It’s a program. You can rewrite it.
That’s how you begin new, healthier, happier patterns.
And you can begin it right now.
Ao Akua,
Joe
www.mrfire.com
PS — Another useful tool for changing patterns is the Subliminal Manifestation DVD set that Mark Ryan and I created. These are topic specific, such as on love and forgiveness, fear, or increasing sales. Take a look.
* What do I think of their book? Thank you for asking. Their book is poorly written, quickly thrown together, packed with emotional ranting, spiced with glaring inaccuracies, and motivated by a desire to capitalize on the very thing they were criticizing. It’s a book designed to take away hope under the guise of being protective. But that’s just my opinion. 🙂 Again, I don’t mind that they wrote the book; I object that they didn’t let me see it in progress, or at the very least share it with me after its publication. As a friend I feel it would have been the decent (read friendly) thing to do. Or maybe that’s just me. If you want to read a rational and readable examination of Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret, get pastor Ed Gungor’s There Is More To The Secret. He talks about God in the same way I talk about the Divine in Zero Limits. Gungor’s book finds some fault with The Secret, but he explains his position in a level headed, well written way. Even disagreement can be an art done with love. Meanwhile, I just keep cleaning, cleaning, cleaning.
42 Comments
Oh, Joe…..
I so want to be like you when I grow up!
I struggle with it, but now, like you, am learning
to let it go too.
Thanks for reminding us that even you have
disappointments, and that we can all be free
no matter what.
You are such a beautiful person. Thanks
for sharing your life with us!
KK
Hi there Joe,
Thanks so much for all the work you do, I just love the fact the world is begining to wake up & realise we can all change for the better & get the very best out of our lives…
Spoke to Zion a couple of times about doing your mentoring course….cant wait…..
At the moment we are all about Web design, but some point in the future I really want to teach all this stuff to the kids of the world who feel lost…….
Thanks again Joe – You are a Diamond !
We love you lots!!
XXX
Dear Joe,
I am sorry for your heaviness. Please forgive. Thank you for understanding. I love you. God Bless it all.
Remember, your betrayal is just a blanket, covering your love and joy for the spiritual laws you teach. For without you being a part of the secret and all of the loving things you do, there would not be a betrayal of this material. Take the covers off, your warmth and lightness is from within!
Whatever happens,happens for the best.Always.
As we all know,life is about learning lessons and learning to let go of things that don’t help us get to where we want to be.I think the book in question by Kevin Hogan and his co-authors is just another tool to help people live more fulfilling lives.There are plenty of roads to the promised land and if they’re all blocked,we’ll make out own.
As far as the argument about people in Darfur and other third world countries goes;People you can complain all you want and use that as an excuse to prove an argument of yours just for the sake of being right or you can take the higher, infintely more noble road and do something,anything to help those people.Send love,send prayers,send positivity,write your politicians,donate to certain causes.Do something.
The bottom line is all we need for peace and happiness and success is in every single one of us and as long as we can admit and accept that we’ll all be more peaceful and happier.As long as peace and happiness is your goal I think we should take whatever path is best for us instead of being right for the sake of being right.
I love you.I’m sorry.Please forgive me.Thank you.
Hi Joe,
Thank you for sharing your innermost feelings and personal life with us. You have gone through life’s trials and tribulations but take these experiences as a learning – as Napoleon Hill said ” …there is a seed of benefit in all of life’s challenges…” You have turned your life around and I admire you for that and know that I must do that too. We are continuously learning and growing.
You are a good person and if there are people who don’t see that it probably means that they are on a different life path. Keep on doing what you are doing:smile:
Peace Love Joy
SK
I am wondering: What book “slamming The Secret” are you referring to, Joe?
I used to be one of “those” to whom good forturne was only a pipe dream. I struggled with low self worth paterns for many years. The Secret was the jump-start I needed to get into a different mind set. Thanks to you and all the others ready with the help and encouragement the universe is the limit – maybe. Keep up the good work.
Joe, Thanks for your insight.
When I’ve been betrayed (and aren’t we all?), I learned it revealed that I was attempting to trust someone. What’s wrong with that? For me to trust you (for example), I first internally (and typically unconsciously) establish a criteria for you to meet. If you meet it, fine. If not, then I feel betrayed.
Solution? I shouldn’t be (even unconsciously) establishing a measure by which I can judge your “trustworthiness.” Why? Because, I’m to trust God only, and love you. He will never betray me. You may betray me (intentionally or not). If so, it’s a test of my love. The question: “Can we love someone we cannot trust?” Answer? Yes. God loves us (and we often disappoint him). If we have enough of his love for each other we too can love those we cannot trust.
If I’m angered by your betrayal, it’s a sign that I was trusting you. If I’m grieved (as you were when your friends disappointed you), it’s because I was loving them.
Blessings!
Great post. Thanks for sharing. Excellent points, as always. Also, thanks for “It’s all good” in your book, Life’s Instruction Manual.
Thank you Joe for sharing your personal struggles and triumphs with the rest of us. They are always so inspiring!
In fact, after reading The Attractor Factor last year, I had a major breakthrough. I discovered that it IS possible to release unconscious beliefs and replace them.
I’ve tested this work with a number of folks through one-on-one sessions and workshops. It’s amazing what can happen. Not only does great insight happen, but real and permanent changes occur as well.
If you’re interested, the basic process is available to everyone in an e-book. You can find it here: http://www.retransformation.com.
Joe,
That was a terrific post. Lately I have been marveling at the extent to which our unseen and unconscious paradigms, programs and counter-intentions get in the way of realizing the joy, harmony and abundance that would otherwise flow into our lives naturally and effortlessly. I have recently begun to focus more on cleaning and clearing the subconscious programming than on deliberately setting intentions. Life now appears to be unfolding with more ease, fun and opportunity, and certainly with less drama and struggle. Reading your Zero Limits book and attending one of Dr. Hew Len’s Ho’oponopono weekend workshops were instrumental in helping me make this shift in perspective.
Best,
D
Thank you, Joe, for your honesty and integrity. I don’t usually comment on blogs. However, You have been a role model to me for some time now. To think that such a wise and spiritually aware person can also become such a success story in so many ways. You are an inspiration to me.
I have also struggled with financial success (what a concept!), though I am aware of and have worked on my attitudes around this idea. I, for one, loved The Secret, as it embodies the ideas I have come to believe so strongly over the past few years. I am also so grateful for what I DO have in my life, as I do realize that money is not the answer to everything.
You are a better person than the friend(s) who “betrayed” you, and I appreciate your sincere description of your feelings around it. It gives me hope and inspires me to continue to be the best, most honest person I know how to be as well as to continue to grow and improve myself, in order to help and be an example to others.
Thank you.
Hi Joe,
My wife and I just finished reading your new book, “Zero Limits”. If I had any issue with many of the self help books I have read over the years, it was the omission of the role that Infinite Intelligence, Universe, God, Supreme I, or whatever else a person chooses to call It or not, has to play in the grand scheme of things. This books feels very good. It has given me another means of releasing the past and opening myself to the limitless. So simple. Thank you! I love you!!
It is so amazing that you chose to send this out at this time being that i’m currently dealing with a situation of betrayal… Honestly i never thought that this friend would betray me in the way that she did and it hurts so much. I was in such a great mindset before all this came about and just as you the situation made me ill. I’m moving on but there are still some things i feel i need to work on for my own mind.
Thank you so much this blog helped so much!
-Jeny
If you haven’t read it already, dr Michael Ryce’s free online book “Why is it happening to me… again?!” is a must read for anyone interested in this phenomenon.
It changed my life years ago. I hope it will change your.
Best wishes from Poland (again)
Leszek Cyfer
Joe,
Have you listened to Lisa Kitters cd’s “The Game of Life for the New Millennium?” I was in total shock after listening to her cds. Almost identical wording as the movie “The Secret” Her story is almost identical to lady on the movie. Her cd’s came out several years prior to “The Secret.”
I would appreciate your reply to this.
It is so important for me to hear how my mentors work through their challenges. I get that process you described in this post and the Ho’oponopono helps me to access it more and more everyday. I had a couple of “bad” drivers in front of me yesterday totally reflecting the anger, stupidity and spaciness (in that order :wink:) that I have believed deep within myself… some of the many memories. Then it took me to a higher level of how that shows up in my life and work. It is constant, it is vigilant… most importantly it is all good. Thanks again for showing up and taking it deeper (which is ALSO a reflection of the good in me).
FYI as a reminder, there is a free clearing tool at http://www.soulsongoffer.com with Ho’oponopono dubbed in… enjoy!
😛 Hi Joe, I thankfully was introduced to you (not personally) early last year and began reading your books and your newsletters, etc.. Had it not been for the Secret I would have not picked up with it again after watching it. You are an inspiration to all who are open and willing to take their OWN inventory and not others. I have been setting my intention for many years to live in a positive way, with a positive perspective and to not feel guilty for comforts or luxuries and to not define myself by them either. I am working on several books (Ebooks of course- for now) and one of them has a GIANT ENORMOUS thank you in it to you. It is sometimes difficult to not sit in our stuff and een more challenging to remove ourselves from it without feeling guilty and feeling like we are not able to be happy and successful and abundant – in everything not just cash. 🙂 I grew up with a mindset that money is bad, and more than what you have or need _as defined by others) is frivolous. But money seems to be the base or root for those of us who feel that we are not entitled – to anything greater than who we are now. Which is not to say that we are not okay now, but we feel that we do not deserve anything more. It is you who has triggered the motivation to find even deeper clarity and balance within myself and my world. Thank you for all you do and for those who disagree in a mean-spiritied manner – they are only leading more people to you. 🙂 Good for you.
I have promoted dr Michael Ryce’s book “Why is this happening to me… again?!” many times. It is priceless.
joe
Hi Ann. no, I’ve never heard of Lisa Kitters cd’s “The Game of Life for the New Millennium”
joe
Joe,
The perception people have of you has changed since The Secret came out. It has changed drastically since Zero Limits was released. You’re no longer the marketing guy or the hypnotic marketing guy, you’re someone the world is turning to for help fixing their lives, their failures, their broken dreams: you’re they guy we’re looking to for health, wealth, and happiness! I’m sure your ascent to success has left some people bitter and jealous. However, the rest of us are glad you had the courage to do it!
You know what they say: “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink blue solar water”!
Fred
“The big tree catches all of the wind” – Chinese proverb
When something grows from an anonymous sprout to a big tree, it’s inevitable that it will catch more wind. The gentle breezes and the gales alike.
When ‘dark side’ people engage in this kind of self-betrayal, it’s like the violent thunderstorms that are created when two fronts collide. These storms can rock even the most well rooted trees.
😉
And two fronts definitely collided in this case! 😯
Also, maybe they didn’t share it with you because they feared having their beliefs overturned?
I’m sorry, Please forgive me, I love you, Thank you, Amen.
I’d like to expand on this using another point you made, Joe…
And that is about what you mentioned about using wealth to help people.
Joe, you said-
“I’ve learned that the more money I make, the more I can help myself and my world.
Whether it’s a Panoz exotic sports car or a $15,000 therapy machine for a child I don’t know, I’m now able to make the choice and write the check.”
Often the negative people who associate money with evil use the argument that opulent wealth is wrong and that owning something like an exotic sports car is somehow blatantly wrong.
What they fail to realize is that when a wealthy person buys a Panoz or a Factory 5 kit or a Ferrari is that they are helping someone else live their dreams, which in this case is creating an awesome piece of driving machinery.
They are helping someone else make a living doing what they love, instead of being stuck in some unfulfilling job that they hate. You are also supporting the families of these people and thereby promoting the idea to the people in their lives by proxy that -yes, you can do what you love and make a living at it!
I can’t find any fault in that.
In this way, even purchases of those that are actually the unscrupulous ego-driven rich (that these poor souls unfortunately believe to be true of all wealthy people) goes to a good cause.
Which is what your post (to me) was really all about.
Turning negatives (and the seemingly negative) into positives.
😎
Great life lesson, Joe!
Feeling betrayed, unloved, or any other negative feeling for that matter, are all symptoms of disconnection… disconnection from Source. Reconnecting with Source is the ultimate purpose for life, and ALL of our experiences are nudging us in that direction. When we are connected we are invincible and nothing shakes us. When connected, we can only feel unconditional love for everyone and everything, because Source is experiencing itself through us. Hence the key to life, and the solution to all problems, is to simply surrender the ego to Source and thereby allow Source to flow without impediment.
All love,
Mike
Great post, Joe! Thanks for sharing.
Feeling betrayed is bad, even when it is a life lesson.
Nevertheless you can liberately choose to see yourself as someone who has been betrayed, …or… as someone who is allright, but unfortunately had friends in the past who went now on a dubious side track you would never choose for.
It is actually their luggage, not yours!! That is how I see such things.
So take your beautiful guitar and play a happy tune 😀
Bye, Erna
Joe, this experience has shown you that they are not really your friends. Friends can have disagreements and they are not afraid to tell the other how they feel. You just have to forgive and clear that programming of yours 😉
cheers,
Irina
Hi Joe,
Just wanted to thank you for being you. You are an inspiration to me. I am now changing my patterns. I am taking the road less traveled and I am going to have success just like you. I have a new outlook on life and I owe it all to you. I am happily married with 2 wonderful children, and they deserve the best from me and thanks to you and your wisdom, they will have it. You keep amazing me with every blog and book you write. I hope you continue to inspire people and I hope to one day, meet you face to face. Just to say “Thank you”. Until next time.
Tammy, NC
Hi Joe,
I loved your post. I think what you said is really true.
I have read Michael Ryce’s book, It was unbelieveably insightful.
For anyone interested, you can read it at :
http://www.whyagain.com
But Joe, i have a question for you?
What did you learn from your lesson of betrayal?
Is it that the only Being that can be totally and always relied upon is God?
I would love to hear your answer, because feeling betrayed is something that many people (including me) have experienced.
Your friend,
Koorosh
http://www.hiddenmindsecrets.com
Joe – what a WONDERFUL, SOUL-FELT, HUMBLE, HONEST post. THANK YOU!
I LOVE YOU. I’M SORRY. PLEASE FORGIVE ME. THANK YOU –
ZERO LIMITS IS A LIFE CHANGING BOOK!
Dear Joe,
I’m a “life coach” working under the law of attraction and I would like to share with you my point of view regarding your betrayal story which I’m familiar with in my life.
1. The simplest way to attract betrayal is holding beliefs as:
The world is a jungle, there are not real friends only interests, you can’t trust anyone etc. I believe this is not the case here. Is it?
2. Much deeper beliefs could be hiding here that attracts the betrayal.
And this is the pattern of “No prophet in his own town”.
Old friend and also couples have this unspoken contract that no one can be better then the other.
If the wife is “more” of her husband (earn more money, has more reputation etc.) he could adore her or divorce her…depends on his self confidence and self esteem.
The same is with old friends. The core of the betrayal is “self importance”
On one hand, your friends do not understand “The law of attraction” and they are not willing to take total responsibility of the outcome in their lives. This is Emotional resistance to except the law itself. On the other hand, YOU Joe, that they know you when you were poor, fat and… (whatever) you make millions from this, you became famous… This means you broke the unspoken contract.
This raise jealousy and rage.
Their choices are to be your followers or to puke you… Their “Self importance” made the decision but they gave it a rational reason and it was so painful that they took the effort to publish a book saying: “We also can do it”.
Anyway, the Attractor of betrayal here, to my humble opinion, is connected to the deepest need to feed the hole of self importance.
I hope this make sense to you. If not, throw it away.
With love,
Irit
This article came at just the right time. I have been wondering about a repeating pattern in my life. One that concerns our business. Actually, there are two. We keep hiring employees. They seem quite happy to have the job. They work a week or two and then just disapear. We never hear from them again. The other is that we have two employees that have been with us for about a year.
They will slack up on work quality to the point we are ready to fire them. We start getting complaints for customers and confront the two workers. They will do excellent work for awhile. Which just proves they know how to do the job, and can do the job. But within a few weeks their work quality will start to decline again.
Both of these repeating patterns, must be because of unresolved issues within me. I don’t know what they are. I am cleaning.
Now that you have read this, please clean on the issues with me.
Thanks,
Sandra F
I’m sorry to hear about this. I also have patterns that I am becoming aware with and working to change. I admire you for your honesty. Some so called spiritual people try to make out they have evolved to the point of near perfection. You are so real and genuine in your journey through this pathway called life.
Hi Joe
This post is very important to many people. In doing the cleaning, do you change the wording in the ‘forgive” section at all? Or do you keep it as “please forgive me”.
Eunice
Namaste Joe,
Ditto to all the above! I can only add this… when we begin to change and attract the life of our dreams…people that we know sure fall away don’t they? Perhaps jealousy then betrayal…:mrgreen:. but I love your pages and Byron Katie (which you posted too) who would say… this is reality… we have also been there (we have been jealous and we have betrayed too) so we get it… and it hurts..but now we are aware of what’s happening. Like always…keep doing it Joe because we “see” you and understand. If it wasn’t for you…I would not have known about “clearing” and eft and Byron Katie and all these cool people on the planet. 😎 Thanks for kickstarting my journey…the real journey!!!!
Hi Eunice. You keep the phrase the same. You aren’t asking for another’s forgiveness; only your own.
joe
i love you, i’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Dear Joe
Thanks for this post I love it.
And I am amazed that you write on this blog everyday because you must be busy.
Keep up the good work kiddo:grin:
Best wishes
Chris
Coincidence or parallel universe?
http://moniquedicarlo.blogspot.com/
That’s exactly what I did: I made a list of all my money beliefs (I found 10 so far)and then wrote the opposites next to them. I used the Sedona Method to release them and replace the old with the new. It’s facinating!
Thanks Joe!
YOXOMO
Good point.
For me I like to look at the re-occurring patterns or the situations I percieve as “problems” to be more of a subtle nudge from the universe offering me the exact thing I want; The opportunity to change my life, change myself and change my perspective.
Without the patterns that cause the likes of “betrayal” or any other emotion that surfaces and manifests….I don’t think I would ever be able to discern what I do want, who I want to be and how to get what I want.
I still struggle with discovering some of the loopholes of insanity I run upon in my own life, but I know that in time things become revealed when I have the capacity to actually do something.
Problems have less weight on my mental scales of being when I make a conscoius decision to “see” that the problem, situation or circumstance is simply part of the mathamatic equation of my life…
Life + “problem”= solutions of change for the better.
🙂 mighty morgan
Hi Joe
I love you. I would like to invite you and Dr. Len to attend a ‘Secret’ Show in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. The show is in September. Zero Limits brought music to my ears.
“What the world needs now is love. Sweet love. That is the only thing that there is just too little of. What the world needs now is love sweet love. No, Not just for some, but for everyone. Everyone.” While reading zero limits this song kept playing over and over in the background. Beautiful. For me this was the sound of the space between the words.
For more details and to discuss the possibilities of visiting Toronto, contact me.
Peace of I
(Lorrie McConnell DNM PhD) [email protected]
Joe,
I’m probably more aware of the entire situation than most who have posted comments here; enough to know that there is rarely a clearly-defined “dark side vs. light side” in this kind of situation. What many people describe as betrayal is really little more than the (frequently painful) passing of an illusion, and there are always two sides to the story. Remember that disagreement need not be a source of enmity.
I commend you for removing your “dark side” description, as that represents a step toward embracing the center rather than clinging to an illusory fringe. Hopefully, whatever methods you use will bring you closer to that center, and ultimately, to a healing truth. That would be the ultimate cleansing.
Namaste,
Ron
🙂 THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. I left Michigan a couple of years ago because the message I was getting was that as a widow I had to act, feel and think a certain way. NOT ME!!!! 😎
Yes, things are not where I want them to be BUT (and it is a huge BUT), I am again making my own life according to my rules and not family, friends and economy.
After listen to your interview on The Secret (daily, I might add), I am recharged with making my future–my future. I recognized the “failure” and “betrayal”patterns that I grew up with and the fact that these patterns had hit me for a second time after losing my best friend, my husband. And yes, my history is very similair to yours except it is recent.
The great thing is I am inventing my life again!! I am a success at living and being who I am. I just needed to be reminded of that.
THANK YOU AGAIN!