Five years ago I co-signed for my (then) web guy to get a car. I had never co-signed for anyone and I’ll probably never do it again. But the experience was useful for me, and in a moment it will be useful for you, too.
Over the years he would miss car payments and I’d get a call from his bank. Then I’d have to find him, bail him out, and hope the situation improved.
A few months ago his bank called again. This time they said they couldn’t find my web guy (who was by now no longer working for me) at all and that he was several months past due.
The bank was demanding complete payment of the loan.
And right now.
I began to search for the guy who skipped out on the car loan. I called every number I had for him. Wrote every email address. Searched online. Had my chief assistant spend time shaking trees to see if he would fall out of one of them.
One of my closest advisers said, “He’s gone. You’ll never find him. And if you did find him, you’d never get a dime out of him. Pay off the loan to close the case and protect your credit.”
I paid off the loan.
I wasn’t upset. I wasn’t concerned. I just let it go and kept cleaning on any negative thought that might come up.
And then a curious thing happened.
My old web guy contacted me on Facebook, asking to be my friend. (!)
I instantly let him in.
I also wrote him and asked for his phone number.
He knew why I wanted it.
He wrote back, gave me his number, said he was sorry, and that he would do anything for me to resolve the issue.
He also said he didn’t have any money.
I had already made peace with the situation so didn’t really have an attachment to any outcome. I figured if I could get him to create a website or two for me, I’d let it all go and chalk it up to experience.
He agreed, and created a wonderful site and even a wonderful sales letter for it.
But he also did something else that stunned everyone around me, but just made me smile.
He sent me a cashier’s check for the full amount he owed me (about six thousand dollars). (!)
He also said he would continue to do work for me, gratis, to show his good faith.
No one around me could believe it.
I found the guy who skipped town.
He did work for me.
And he paid me off.
How did this happen?
Here’s my take on it:
First, I wasn’t attached to him paying me back. I would welcome my money back, but I didn’t need it. Too many people want something to happen in their lives but are desperate about it. That desperation creates/attracts more to be desperate about. I was cool whether the guy paid me or not. My energy was neutral.
Second, I saw the good in the guy. I know that people at their core are basically good. They want to do good. Sometimes when they are backed into a corner, they do things they regret. But I knew the guy and felt he was a good soul. He would do good in whatever way he could.
These two steps don’t guarantee that you’ll get your money back from someone who borrowed or stole from you, but they do guarantee you will be at peace with the moment.
It’s from that place of inner peace that you can attract what you desire — even if it’s from someone who skipped town, couldn’t be found, and was flat broke.
PS — I’m sure any skeptic or critic could smugly say the above story was just a fluke, that I was just lucky. Maybe so. But I have several stories where people turned around and did good while everyone around them gave up on them. The lesson here is where do you want to put your focus: on what doesn’t work or on what does? The Law of Attraction (as well as the fundamentals of psychology) states you get more of whatever you focus on with energy and intent. Where’s your focus?
Having met you in person, and been able to spend several hours for you, I’m not surprised that this turned out in such a positive way.
It’s rare to meet a soul (like you) who is so giving, benevolent, and truly generous. You give freely, not just through this blog, but through your books, seminars, advice, and most importantly, your example.
There are so many great lessons in this post, and I truly appreciate them!
All the best,
Hello, Joe! I came across this page.
I had the same type of issue with my teen-aged son. Always asking for money,helping himself to itunes (at my expense) promising that he would pay back what he owed me. I was frustrated and hurt by his actions. And it was a significant amount of money. He felt bad. So did I. The only way for me was to forgive him and his debt. He still said that he would pay it, but I told him no, I would love to absolve him of this unhappiness and have a better relationship with him. I felt so much better, and our time together means much more to both of us.
Thank you for that post, and for the lesson on making peace with the money thing.
I have a very good friend who owes me a good deal of money, This persons home was about to go into foreclosure and I bailed them out.
It was supposed to be paid back a few months ago and I have yet to see it.:shock:
Truth is, I can certainly use that money right now, however I am NOT WORRIED AT ALL!
I know everything happens for a reason and I ALSO try to stay focused on the “good” in this person.
The cool part is, all the things I wanted to use that money for, I have actually managed to get for free. So I take that as a sign from the universe that I have done the right thing.
I have also learned how to “receive” from others. Something I was very horrible at.
So there you have it… Whether that money is returned to me or not, is not a concern at this point.
I may loose the money, but I certainly did not loose the lesson!
What’s a great story. I love your post and learn from very much . Thanks for all your sharing, Mr Fire.
Joe: This is beautiful example on surrender; the minute we let go of the struggle, things will flow not only in terms of desire, but in terms of healing.
Great story, and it all goes back to release, doesn’t it? Releasing anything that makes us less than happy — love is always the answer.
This is the place we all need to find…that letting go and being unattached to the outcome. Thanks for this beautiful lesson.
Ho’oponopono is great, amazing things continue to happen to me. I am always deliciously surprised. As long as you cleaned on the memory, you made the way free for inspiration, in this case, the webguy to come forward. I love ho’oponopono and I will always be grateful to you, for bringing it into my life, so thanks Joe!
It truly is amazing how this works, Joe. This person was likely ashamed not to be able to continue to pay his debt, ashamed to face you, and yet, you let him back in when you had every reason to shun him and turn him away. You believed in him, no strings attached and he gave back more than you would ever have imagined. Amazing how belief and forgiveness works.
I am dealing with a person at work who is a problem. She is not a happy being. We have had confrontation after confrontation and I finally told myself to just love her and sat down for a talk. We cleared the air, and yet, even after this, I decided that the Universe was telling me to leave this position (which is not fulfilling) and gave notice today. I am thinking by letting go and trusting in the Universe, the perfect job will arrive, and part of that is due to my ability to forgive and accept the limitations in this situation. Amazing.
Having followed this story with you since you first got the call at the bank, I was as surprised as anyone when you told Pat & I the surprise ending over cigars the other day. It would be interesting to hear how the webmaster came up with the money to pay you back. There might be another miracle to the story.
Really glad it all worked out for the best,
Hi Joe! What a neat story!!! Its so nice to see the good in people!!! I love trying to make all our dreams and goals come true through all of the things you teach us. I want everyday to be happy and easy for everyone and to make all our dreams come true!!!!! Now I’m going to take some action!!!!! Love you!!! Geoff & Diane Hinkle & our Bunnies & Kitty’s !!!! We :razz::smile::grin:love animals too!!!!!
Phenomenal story! And a great ending too… I have a similar situation, only even trickier in some ways… Will try a similar tack and see what happens…
What a great ending! It’s amazing what letting go will do. Learning gratitude will bring abundance to you faster than you can believe.
A week ago I had a major falling out with someone I love over money. I trusted that the outcome was the best for both of us. I cleaned. I was grateful for the events because I believe that everything happens for my highest good.
Yesterday I received a free bag of Starbuck’s coffee (and if you know how I like my morning coffee you’ll realize that I’m VERY grateful for that) and 4 free dinners to a local restaurant. I turned around and gave 2 of the 4 dinners to friends of ours. Now we can all enjoy dinner together, for FREE!
Money is nothing. It’s a means to an end. And sometimes the Universe will give you the end without the money. That concept allows me to “let go” of money worries faster than I ever did before.
You will always be my inspiration on getting better at that Joe. Thank you for sharing so much of your life with the world.
Oh, and my relationship with the person I love remains intact. That was the most important thing.
Would you believe I got you confused with Joe Girard?:???:
I ran across his stuff recently regarding periodic contact with your customer base. I kept looking for his blog, because I knew he had one.:eek:
Actually he didn’t. 😥 The blog I had discovered about nine months ago was yours, and am very happy (after rewatching The Secret) to have rediscovered it.:grin:
I love this story Joe V. wrote and the comments. Florence Scovel Shinn has a statement you repeat in her book that says something like this “There is no loss in Divine Mind . there is no Debt in Divine Mind, I deny debt therefore no one owes me anything! all is squared. I send forth love and forgiveness.”:razz: