Decades ago a stripper hired me. Yes, a stripper. She wanted to write a book about her years as a topless dancer, and her transformation to being a military officer. I agreed to see her. Of course.
I enjoyed our meetings. She was attractive, upbeat and positive. She had a fascinating life (boy, could I tell you some stories) and she was on a new path in the military. I thought her story was fascinating and inspiring. Stimulating, too.
We met several times. We both knew her book had the potential for greatness. It could entertain and educate people. And I predicted it could be a bestseller. With the help of the Internet, which was new then but still a viable promotional vehicle, she could get the word out to thousands of potential readers. This would be a hit. I knew it.
But then she disappeared.
She didn’t answer her phone or email. I had an address for her, so I wrote her the old fashioned way, by snail mail. But the letter came back as undeliverable.
One day I ran into her at a restaurant. She was friendly to me but aloof. She didn’t explain her disappearance or avoidance. I scratched my head for a while until I realized she had everything lined up for success except the most important ingredient of all: the inner.
I’ve seen this happen countless times with various people I’ve helped (or tried to help) over the years. They get really close to success and then back away. I remember one time having a check in hand for a singer, waiting to meet him to give him a tithe or love offering for inspiring me with his music. He had promised to meet. But at the last minute, he didn’t show. We rescheduled. He didn’t show the next time, either. Of course, he never got the check. And that’s the point.
What I’m demonstrating to you is this: There is a very real “inner game” to success. It means if you don’t get in alignment with success inside yourself – with your beliefs and self worth and sense of deservingness – then you may very well sabotage your own potential. And you may not even know it. You’ll just blame someone (anyone) else on things not working out.
This is HUGE.
Part of my writings these days is about helping you get the inner game set up right. That means knowing success is good, money is good, you are good, the Internet is good, marketing is good, and winning is good. Until you feel that way inside yourself, on a deep level in your unconscious mind, your inner game will be off. And when the inner is not in alignment for success, virtually nothing you do will work.
None of this is new. I first wrote and spoke about “inner game” awareness back the 1980’s, and you’ll find it in my book, Hypnotic Writing. Back then I talked about there being a “critic” and a “master” within you. The critic stops you from completing anything because it turns your passion into mush. The master is the part of you that can do things successfully.
Too often, we listen to the inner critic. As a result, we end up sabotaging ourselves. What gets even more curious is the fact we seem to prefer it that way. We actually seem to like failing rather than succeeding.
I know this first hand. I struggled for decades. I was homeless. I was in poverty. I was miserable. I was doing everything right, yet I couldn’t seem to succeed. It wasn’t until I started turning within and working on my inner game that things began to shift. As I got clear within myself of all the negative and limiting beliefs, I was able to free myself to allow what I was doing to finally succeed.
What was the big secret?
I had to change the inner game within me from one of expecting failure to one of expecting success. Today I live a lifestyle of the rich and famous. Yet I’m the same guy who struggled decades ago, though. The only change is within me.
Let’s look at this a little more closely.
Why would you not be in alignment for success?
First, unconscious beliefs are running your life.
For example, most of us have been brought up to think “money is the root of all evil.” If you think money is evil, would you want to have any? Hardly. As I wrote in my book, Attract Money Now, money is neutral. The biblical quote everyone remembers is inaccurate. The longer quote says it’s the love of money that is the problem. Well, guess what, all the wealthy people I know don’t love money, they simply appreciate it. Big difference.
But the inner game goes deeper than that.
Most of us have been taught that we aren’t worthy of success. We received subtle messages from family, friends, culture, religion, government, and the school system and more that we are victims and that struggling is the way of life. I had to go through poverty and homelessness before I found that not to be true. You can make it true, of course. But it doesn’t have to be true.
Second, your self-talk is controlling you.
Most people don’t take any notice of what they are doing inside. The inner game is all about how you talk to yourself as well as what you unconsciously believe about yourself. I encouraged a former cheerleader to write a book on how all of us can create an inner cheerleader inside ourselves. Because she was in alignment for success and her inner game was set for success, she did in fact write and publish her book.
I’ve often said that I can teach you about Internet marketing, copywriting, publicity and more. After all, I’ve written Buying Trances, There’s a Customer Born Every Minute, and so on. I’ve been marketing online for decades. I created marketing formulas that get results. I can teach you what works. But if your inner game isn’t ready for success, you’ll either not listen to me, misinterpret what I tell you, or simply not do anything at all.
Why? Because your inner voices are talking you out of your own good.
Listen to me. Even right now, as you read these words, there’s a voice in your head talking. It might be telling you to take notes and get ready to take action. Or it might be whispering that you need to stop reading this nonsense and go do the laundry.
What can you do about this?
1. Be aware. Listen to the voices in your head. The naysayers are the team on the inner game of failure side. The cheerleaders are the team on the inner game of success side. You can learn to tell the difference. You can learn to choose who to listen to. After all, you are in charge, not the voices. I’ve written a song for Strut!, my recent music CD, called “The Choice.” It’s to help remind us that we can choose who to listen to. You have choice.
2. Get support. I find results happen faster when you surround yourself with people who truly want your success. I created Miracles Coaching for that reason. That program has been helping people over five years now. But you can also create or join a mastermind group. The idea is to plant yourself where success will grow, by getting sunshine from other people. (And giving it to them, too, or course.)
3. Take action. The more you take action, the more you will get feedback about what you truly believe in your inner world. You don’t need to beat yourself up if things don’t always work. It’s all data. Just learn, adjust, and move forward. Not everything I tried worked out, but instead of giving up, I learned and moved on to create another project that did achieve success.
This is how the inner game of success actually works. It’s what happens on the inside of you that creates or attracts the outer results you get. If you want to change the outer, change your inner.
In a way, you have to became a stripper of beliefs (as opposed to becoming a stripper on stage).
May you strip away limitations and strut to success.
After all, you deserve it.
PS – Last year I gave a presentation at the offices of my Miracles Coaching team where I explained seven ways to get clear. The group loved the steps. The event was filmed and later turned into a free course you can watch online. Go here to see it right now: http://www.joevitalecoach.com/campaigns/sevensteps/