I’m reading yet another book in the growing field of positive psychology. This one is Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier by Robert Emmons.
Dr. Emmons is Editor-in-Chief of The Journal of Positive Psychology. He is also author of The Psychology of Ultimate Concerns (Guilford Press) and The Psychology of Gratitude (Oxford University Press). Thanks! is his newest and most accessible book.
One of the most revealing insights early in this new book is that happy people achieve goals faster than unhappy people.
In other words, most people use un-happiness in any of its forms (anger, frustration, desperation, impatience, dissatisfaction, etc) to motivate themselves to achieve a new result.
But new research, reported by Emmons, proves that happy people — people already grateful for who they are, where they are and what they have — tend to more easily and quickly achieve the goals they say they want.
Emmons writes “…happiness makes good things happen. It actually promotes positive outcomes.”
This is remarkable news. I’ve been saying it for years, though, and wrote about it in my book The Attractor Factor: happy people tend to attract positive results faster than unhappy people.
And the really great news is that you don’t need anything to be happy.
Happiness is available to you right now.
I write about this in my forthcoming book, The Key. One of the best ways to experience happiness is to find something to be grateful for right now.
As you do, you shift your perception, which shifts your feelings, which causes you to attract and act in new directions.
Most people bicker, complain and blame.
You can imagine what they feel like, or what they accomplish.
But if you stopped and wrote down five things you were grateful for right now, you would transform your perception and begin to act and attract more of what you really want — and even faster.
I’m enjoying reading Thanks!
In fact, I’m very grateful for it. 🙂
PS – This month marks the one year anniversary of my Miracles Coaching program. It has been a phenomenal success. The last group of participants are finishing up their program and we have an opening for you. Get all the details at http://miraclescoaching.com I’m very thankful for it, too. 🙂
Some books just crawl into your head and rewire your brain.
That’s what is happening to me as I explore The 12 Bad Habits that Hold Good People Back by James Waldroop and Timothy Butler.
This is one of those rare books that expose your unconscious behaviors. In this case the book reveals 12 bad habits, which I prefer to call mental programs and the authors call behavior patterns, that prevent success.
I thought I was doing pretty good with my career until I started absorbing this book.
I began to squirm as I felt some of the bad habits hit a little too close to home. But I also know that once I change a bad habit, even greater success will come my way.
The 12 bad habits include —
Never feeling good enough
Avoiding conflict at any cost
Allowing fear to rule
There are twelve of them, remember, and while all may not fit you, I bet three or more do.
Those 3 or 4 may be stopping you from the glorious success and beaming happiness you seek.
The book goes deeper than the 12 bad habits, too. It also reveals the four underlying psychological issues that help create the 12 behavior patterns.
Two of those core issues are —
Having a negatively distorted self-image
Not having come to terms with authority
I’ve said it many times and I’ll say it again: the results you’re getting stem from your unconscious. The beliefs wired there are causing the actions you perform, which lead to the results you get. Change the inner and you’ll change the outer.
In short, you need to get clear.
This book should be required reading for anyone wanting to achieve more. I can’t say enough about the value of knowing yourself, and this book pulls no punches in helping you awaken to some key (and usually hidden) self-limiting habits.
The authors also have an online course (which I haven’t seen) based on their ideas at their website at www.careerdiscovery.com
Get the book.
I’d loan you my copy but it’s being underlined and highlighted and otherwise well used.
I think that’s one of my good habits.
PS – For help in getting clear and releasing bad habits, consider my Miracles Coaching program. How would you like to have freedom to enjoy life, feel grateful, and be present and connected to the Divine? This is just one of the miracles that participants in my Miracles Coaching Program experience on a regular basis. See http://miraclescoaching.com Thank you.
Nerissa doesn’t read as much as me.
Being the video queen and all, she prefers the visual world over the printed one.
But she didn’t stop reading a book I loaned her on the flight home late the other night.
While I kept nodding off, she kept underlining and writing comments in the book she literally could not put down.
I’ve never seen her act like that with a book before.
Not even with my books.
The book is truly great, though.
It’s wise, witty, profound, stimulating, controversial, and enlightening.
I’m talking about The Spiritual Chicks Question Everything.
It was my copy but I only got to read around in the book a little before Nerissa snatched it from me.
But I had seen the spiritual chicks’ website and knew of their wisdom. That’s why I ordered the book.
You can read many samples of the spiritual chicks (pictured above: Tami Coyne and Karen Weissman)’s writing/thinking at http://spiritualchicks.com/Kick-Ass_Content.htm
Their “one life” principle is very much in alignment with Zero Limits.
Check it out.
PS — Nerissa says “The spiritual chicks must read your stuff as your ideas are all over their book!” Well, maybe so, but maybe we just read the same authors, too. 🙂 Then again, Truth is one.
Something HUGE is happening at 8 PM Eastern tomorrow tonight, but before I tell you about it, let me say this…
I rarely watch or read the news.
All you have to do is glance at a newspaper, or an online news site, and it’s screaming at you —
— the economy’s tanking,
— the dollar is down,
— and unless you’re an investment banker, you’ll soon be asking, “Do you want fries with that?”
But what if you could just put all that negative stuff off to the side and ignore all that talk of gloom and doom?
What if —
The economy is irrelevant?
You don’t need a job?
What if what you really need is your very own Portable Empire?
Pat O’Bryan has written the book that is going to change the way you think about jobs, money, and their effect on you.
It may be the most dangerous book ever written.
At least to employers.
It’s called Your Portable Empire: How To Make Money Anywhere While Doing What You Love described at www.yourportableempire.com/book (site goes live at midnight tonight).
No, this isn’t some get-rich-quick deal.
Here’s what Mark Joyner says about Pat’s book:
“In a sea of snake oil and get-rich-quick nonsense about fast money on the Internet from people who haven’t really done it, O’Bryan’s book is a ship of sanity to an island of commonsense e-commerce. This works.”
Here’s what I say about the book —
“…this book is a manual on how to skip surviving and morph into thriving.”
After you’ve read Pat’s book, you may still watch the newspapers, but you’ll be able to just laugh at the headlines.
When you’ve got a Portable Empire, those things just don’t affect you any more.
So what’s a Portable Empire?
It’s an online information marketing business that you can run from anywhere.
It’s multiple streams of passive income, brought to you effortlessly.
All you have to do is solve problems. Pat’s book teaches you how to find interesting problems to solve, and how to sell the solutions – and then, how to automate the whole thing, so you just sit back and live, without worrying about how to make a living.
Pat does this.
He was once a struggling but “successful” musician.
He had CDs out but he couldn’t pay his rent.
He went to my seminars, read every book I wrote, co-created a few products with me, and now he’s an Internet force to reckon with.
He’s got his own Portable Empire today – and he’s thriving while doing what he loves, from anywhere he wants to go — from Germany to Arizona.
Craig Perrine says, “There is no one better to be your guide… he’s laid out every step for you in his inspiring and easy-to-read book.”
This book could be your ticket to the life of your dreams.
If you are:
– thinking about starting an online business
– struggling with your online business
– a stay-at-home mom who wants to stay at home, and still make plenty of money
– sick of the corporate treadmill and ready for something better
– ready to tell your boss to “take this job and shove it!”
– interested in how to make money from anywhere doing what you love
Then you MUST read this book.
www.yourportableempire.com/book (site goes live at midnight tonight)
But wait – it gets better.
Pat’s determined to drive his book to the #1 spot on Amazon.com tomorrow, so he’s doing something so outrageous, so unbalanced, so crazy that I didn’t believe it until I saw it.
There have been book promotions before, but nothing quite like this.
He’s gathered over Ten Thousand Dollars worth of bonuses (including a gift from me) and he’s going to GIVE them to you when you buy his book tomorrow from his site.
These bonuses include e-books, audios, videos, coaching and mentoring, and manifestation tools from some of the most famous and influential experts online including —
Dr. Joe Vitale (me) 🙂
And over 50 others who have donated high quality bonuses for this event.
I know. It sounds way too good to be true. But it is true – you can get a book that will definitely change the way you look at making money, and over $10,000 in valuable bonuses. It’s all explained over at —
www.yourportableempire.com/book (site goes live at midnight tonight)
Go for it.
P.S. — And the HUGE news I promised you at the beginning of this post? Afterwards, at 8 PM Eastern tomorrow tonight, join Pat at his online book party at the Portable Empire Island in Second Life. (Second Life is a virtual online world where you take on a new identity and live out a “second life.” It’s wild.) You’ll get your invitation and directions to Pat’s Second Life party when you register for the bonuses. www.yourportableempire.com/book
Note: Pat’s offer is only good for tomorrow, Sept 4th. I suggest you click right here after midnight tonight.
Years ago I was going to coauthor a book called The Red Flags Theory.
It’s the theory that as you go through life, there are signs to go forward, pause, or even stop and retreat.
They are a little like center lane bumps on the highway telling you to get back into your lane.
I call them green, yellow and red flags.
The key is to pay attention to the clues, or flags, and act on them.
When you do, life seems to flow at a smooth rate. When you don’t, you hit jolting bumps, scary rapids and/or unforgiving walls.
I was telling some friends about my red flags theory over lunch. One of them had gotten himself into a tangled business relationship. As I explained that before he got into the tangle there were probably yellow flags to alert him of problems ahead, he asked for an example.
I remembered that decades ago I took on a client that ended up being a nightmare. I finally had to fire him, return his money, and wish him well. It was a very unpleasant experience.
When I reflected on why I signed on with him in the first place, I realized that there were yellow flags on the field from the first day I met him but I didn’t pay full attention to them.
Those yellow flags were things like an uncomfortable feeling in the stomach; noticing an odd statement or odd behavior; feeling a tiny shudder when he said something about someone else that seemed negative or inappropriate.
I didn’t pay close attention to those yellow flags because this client was paying me a great deal of money, and I needed it (or thought I did) at the time.
So I let the promise of big money help me ignore or rationalize the warning flags.
But yellow flags turn into red flags if you don’t do something about them. Ultimately I had to end my relationship with that client.
As I told this story to my friends, they nodded. They realized there were hints, clues and “flags” all along the way, in every relationship, coming in every moment.
The point is to awaken, be responsible, and act on them.
A yellow flag doesn’t mean stop; it means explore the caution. If you can’t resolve it or shake it, you might have to get out of that game.
Here’s another example:
Donny Deutsch recently interviewed Donald Trump on his CNBC show, The Big Idea. In it The Donald said he once got the flu when he was about to close a deal to buy a newspaper.
Donald explained that he never gets sick, but he got terribly sick on the day of the deal. He took it as a sign not to go through with it.
As it turned out, it was the right decision. Being a newspaper publisher is not The Donald; being a real estate tycoon is.
The flu was a red flag to stop.
I have no idea if Donald Trump received yellow flags before the day of the deal, but I bet he did. You don’t get a red flag unless you’ve ignored all the yellow ones.
And that’s the point: Be alert to the yellow flags.
Of course, green flags are the good signs that say this is the way to go. But if you don’t act, you may get yellow and then red flags on those deals, as well.
Often I won’t get a green flag (or any flag) until after I’ve taken action.
This is a little like being at a football game. There’s no reason to toss a flag on the field before the game begins. But once it starts, look for the flags.
Same in life. I’ve often begun something because it felt right. After I took action, the game is afoot. From that point on I have to pay attention, and act, on all signs.
Also, as new information becomes available and relationships grow, new flags may also appear. Life isn’t static. The game isn’t over. This is why you have to stay awake in every moment.
As I’ve said here, there, and even on Larry King’s TV show, the great goal of life is to awaken.
Flags help you tune in to this moment; and this moment is all there is.
Here’s one final example:
Since I’m travelling more these days, I decided to get a laptop connect card so I could use my laptop virtually anywhere to connect to the Internet.
I went to my current phone service provider but he couldn’t determine what card I needed for my particular laptop.
I told him I would return with my laptop in hand so he could look at it and give me the right connect card.
I returned, he took one look, and said he didn’t have the card I needed, even though my card is a standard one and should be in stock.
He went on to say I would have to go to a larger city, probably Austin or San Antonio, to get the card I wanted. Since I had no plans to go to either city, and needed the card today for a trip I’m making tomorrow, I passed on his suggestion.
Note that these yellow flags don’t mean I shouldn’t get a laptop connect card; they simply mean (so far) not to get one with my current phone service provider.
I sat in the car and made a few phone calls to local stores of competing phone service providers, seeing who had the card I needed. After three calls (notice I’m taking action) I found a friendly woman who assured me she had the card in stock.
She told me her name is Chelsea, which is the name of one of our cats.
I went over to her store, went inside, and was greeted by the friendliest staff.
No waiting. No hassles. No deposit, or card fees, or much else.
And while I was there, one of my favorite waitresses of all time breezed into the store, saw me, and rushed over to give me a hug.
I now have the Internet connect card I need and I feel great about the experience.
I still don’t know if I’ll ever write a book about my red flags theory*, but I’m hoping this blog post helps you remember that there are clues in every moment telling you if you’re on course.
PS — Usually fear stops you from paying attention to the flags. My bestselling DVD, created with Mark Ryan, on becoming fear-less, just might be the ticket for you. It’s one of our three subliminal manifestation DVDs described at www.subliminalmanifestation.com Take a look. There’s nothing to fear, you know.
* Guess I’m waiting for a green flag. 🙂
Note to me: Waiting is not how a game begins.
Note to you: If you’d like to see this concept developed into a book, leave a comment (or just “Digg” this post) and tell me so. Thank you.