Tag: law of attraction

Recently a close friend suddenly and completely severed our relationship.

It was shocking because it was so unexpected and so radical.

He offered no explanation, didn’t return my emails, and slammed the door on a five-year wonderful relationship.

It made me wonder what was going on in my friend’s life for him to act like this. Not only was it unnecessary, as a simple phone or in-person meeting could have cleared up whatever was bothering him, his action also severed a long term business relationship. I was planning to come out with new products I’d create with his help. This is wealth he’ll now miss out on receiving, as I can always do the products with someone else.

I told another friend about this troubling experience and he said, “It’s simply your turn.”

My turn?

He went on to explain that the friend who turned against me had gotten mad at virtually every close friend over the years, including the one I was talking to.

As I thought about it, I realized this was a self destruction or self sabotage pattern.

Whenever things hit some sort of internal button, my old friend hit a switch inside his brain and flipped out. He’s been mad at every single mutual friend we have. Apparently it really is my turn.

I thought about this and wondered why we don’t see our self-destruct patterns, or if we do, interrupt them and stop them.  It made me wonder about self sabotage and self destruction in myself and others.

I was in Krakow, Poland as I lay awake one night and reflected on all this. My mind was digging into the psychological motivations for acting out self destruction. After what seemed like hours I came to the conclusion that we don’t see our patterns while we’re in them. We only see them later, after the dust has settled and we can see clearly again. At that point, shame and regret often kick in.

But why don’t we see the pattern as it’s happening?

I remember an attorney once telling me that the human machine isn’t wired to admit fault. We will simply find it easier to blame others.

I also remember Dr. Hew Len, my coauthor for Zero Limits, saying that none of us want to take responsibility for what occurs. It’s too hard. Or said the other way, it’s just so easy to point fingers at others.

I asked Andrzej Batko (pictured above with me), an NLP master trainer and the wonderful man who brought me to Poland (twice so far) to hold Law of Attraction events in Warsaw, what he thought about self-destruction.

“It’s a mind trick,” he said. “I don’t usually see the self sabotage pattern in myself until after it’s over. If I’m aware, I can start to catch it before I repeat it.”

What can we do about this trick of the mind?

There appears to be two ways to stop self destruction or self sabotage:

1. Awareness. When you’re aware of a pattern, you can begin to interrupt it with a new behavior or insight so you don’t repeat it. This takes work. One book that can help is Why Is This Happening to Me …Again? by Michael Ryce.  My own book, The Key, is also useful. Also, my Awakening Course can be the turning point for you.

2. Coaching. When you have a skilled coach to help reflect your behavior and thoughts back to you, you can more easily escape the unconscious spiral of self-destruction. If you don’t mind the plug, I suggest you check out the Joe Vitale Miracles Coaching program. It’s been helping thousands of people for more than four years now.

How important is coaching?

On the way to see the Leopard sports car, a hand made limited edition roadster made in Poland, I met a man who took all the money he made in one year and gave it to a coach for one year of training.

Consider that: he took an entire year’s wages to get one year of weekly coaching. He said this transformed his life. He’s now a successful, self-employed entrepreneur.

My friend with the self-destruct pattern of getting mad at friends will have to find his way out of the maze. I’ll continue to love him, clean on the experience with ho’oponopono, and monitor my own life for any signs of the mind trick that stops most of us from the success we truly want to attract.

Meanwhile, reflect on the patterns in your own life.

It may truly be time for a change.

Ao Akua,

Joe

PS — All above photos, taken in Warsaw, are by Grzegorz Sylla of www.fotani.com in Poland.

I was so busy in Russia that I didn’t get to send all the tweets I wanted. Here are some of the ones I wanted to send but didn’t:

In Russia First Class travelers get on the plane last. I like it. Feels like the entire plane waited for me.

In Russia VIP travelers skip customs and get escorted through a special VIP area. Quick and easy entry.

Landed in Russia but no one could get off plane until every one had temperature taken to see if we had swine flu.

Russian coffee is instant coffee. You have to ask for “bean” to get stronger coffee.

Moscow has an underground bomb shelter for 300,000. But city has 15,000,000 people.

Russians generally don’t eat after 7 pm to stay slim.

I’m signing rubles for people. Supposedly brings holder prosperity.

In Moscow there are 15,000,000 people, smoking indoors  and out, yet no pollution.

No global warming in Russia. They fear global freezing.

Catherine the Great had 150,000 dresses and never wore the same one twice.

Siberian berry called Sea-Buckthorn (oblepikha) is cleaning tool and health food/drink.

Flying through Russian air and noticing no turbulence. Ever.

Russian standard top shelf vodka is Imperial.

At the end of meals in Russia you don’t get a mint, you get a stick of Wrigley’s gum.

My favorite vodka is Garlic Vodka, made near St. Petersburg, in Russia.

Russians outside of Moscow call Russians who live in Moscow “rats”.

Russians are very educated, passionate book lovers, and demanding of more information.

Many Russians long for the Soviet Union back. Before their purpose in life was known because it was told to them.

Russian women are stronger than Russian men. When they want something, they get it.

Russians are afraid to show happiness.

Follow me on Twitter by clicking right here.

I saw Barbara Ehrenreich, author of the book Bright-Sided, on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart last week. Her book reveals  “How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America.” I love Jon Stewart’s interviews and was keenly curious about this author and her book.

As I watched Ehrenreich on television, I got the feeling she’s a wounded soul. She talked about being diagnosed with cancer and how people around her told her to just think positive. I know from having my own cancer scare a few years ago that her feelings were justified. When you’ve been diagnosed with the C word, you’ve been kicked in the gut. Smiling people don’t help.  I felt for her and agreed with her. Positive thinking in that dire situation isn’t welcome, at least not at first.

As I often do after seeing a Jon Stewart interview, I jumped on Amazon and ordered her book. I was so curious that I paid extra for next day delivery.

Well, it arrived.

It’s a well written historical overview of positive thinking. It mentions all the positive thinkers you might guess, from Napoleon Hill to Joel Olsteen , Jack Canfield, Will Bowen, Bob Doyle, Rhonda Byrne; to the teachers in the movie The Secret, including me.

Turns out Ehrenreich heard me speak a few years ago at the National Speakers Association annual convention. There were more than 6,000 people there, so I never met her. But I apparently left an impression. She says in her book –

“Vitale, who looks like a slightly elongated version of Danny DeVito, offers the theme of ‘inspired marketing,’ and also love. “

Inspired Marketing is the title of a book I wrote with Craig Perrine, and love is the core  of everything I do.

But Ehrenreich didn’t say either fact.

She mentions I’m a disciple of P.T. Barnum in her book, too, but doesn’t explain that’s because I wrote a popular business book on him, titled There’s A Customer Born Every Minute.

For a journalist, she cleverly left off statements that would justify what I, and others she mentions in her book, stand for and teach.

The message of her book seems to be to use critical thinking, not positive thinking, in order to make a difference in your life and world. For her, positive thinking can be delusional, while critical thinking can give you a well-rounded view of your choices.

I agree with her.

The thing is, most people who say they are critical thinkers are actually skeptical thinkers.  They quickly dismiss concepts without trying them, or demand scientific proof for concepts that are still being researched. That, to me, is delusional.

The most powerful books I’ve read on the subject of critical thinking are by Steve Siebold. His books are wake-up calls to your brain. Read his book 177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class, or Die Fat or Get Tough, or read his forthcoming book on mental toughness secrets of the rich.

While I prefer positive thinking over negative thinking, I have to admit that positive thinkers can sometimes be blind to reality. When I had my cancer scare, I didn’t just think positive. I also took massive action. I searched for cures, I contacted all the healers and medical doctors I know, I tried every method offered to me, and I stayed persistent. The end result is a clean bill of health. But I didn’t get there by putting on a happy face and sitting in a corner.

Bright-Sided is a bestselling book and Ehrenreich is getting lots of publicity for it.  While she ends the book with a call to be more critical in our thinking, and to take action to get results, I suspect it will mislead many readers. Too many will jump to the conclusion that positive thinking doesn’t work at all. They’ll use the book to justify not being optimistic, or not choosing to feel good. They’ll just keep on complaining.

My reminder to you is that you always have a choice: When confronted with any moment, you can look at it cheerfully, unhappily, or objectively. I prefer the latter but with a positive expectancy.

When I got the heath scare, I at first was walloped with the news. But then I set an intention to find a cure. I expected one because, as I say in my book The Attractor Factor,  there’s always a way to handle any problem. My critical thinking — or maybe it’s better called objective thinking — included the possibility that positive action and positive expectation would be better than just unhappiness, happiness, or no action.

I appreciate critical thinking, but it’s subject to delusion, too. Most of the people I know who claim to be critical thinkers still have limiting beliefs and negative attitudes they aren’t even aware are in their own head. They are actually skeptical thinkers as a form of self-protection.

Combine all this with the Law of Attraction and you might see where critical/skeptical thinkers will find evidence for their beliefs, and positive thinkers will find evidence for their own beliefs. They’ll simply attract what they need to support their mindsets.

So how do you get out of this maze so you can have a clear-headed, productive life?

For me, the fastest thing that helps you get mentally clear is having the right coach. I know I’ve said it before but it needs said again: Every high achiever I know has a coach in their area of expertise. The coach can help them see their thinking patterns. The coach can help them stay accountable. The coach can help them achieve the results they want.

If having a coach is part of what Ehrenreich condemns as something that has “undermined America”, then I have to disagree with her. In fact, I’d go so far as to suggest she get a coach to help her unravel her own thinking about “Bright-Sided” being  negative. It could also help her heal her psychic wounds.

But as she openly says, it’s “reckless optimism” that bothers her the most. With that in mind, I suggest she’s correct. You don’t want to be recklessly optimistic, but practically optimistic.

In other words, choose what you want, have an optimistic expectancy about the results, take action to attract it, and monitor your progress for feedback and course changes. That’s how you make practical use of the Law of Attraction.

That’s not being “Bright-Sided”, that’s being smart.

Finally, decades ago I had a landlord who made fun of me for reading success literature, such as positive thinking books.

I was struggling, broke and unknown at the time. I was paying him two hundred dollars a month to live in a dumpy little room in his house. I didn’t look like I was going anywhere in life.

He caught me reading a Norman Vincent Peale book (probably Enthusiasm Makes the Difference) and said, “You believe that shit?”

“I sure do, ” I said.

While at the time he questioned me I had no evidence for any future success, and any critical thinking person could have dismissed me as a dreamer, today I’m wealthy and well known.

Was it because I read positive thinking books?

Was it because I chose to be “bright-sided” about life?

Was it because I took massive action and kept a positive expectancy about my future?

What do you think?

Ao Akua,

Joe

PS – Check out my Miracles Coaching program by clicking right here.

Note: The T-shirt I’m wearing in the photo of me and the book says “I Create My Reality.” It’s backward writing. When I look at my shirt in the mirror, I see it clearly. It’s a direct message to my unconscious, and a real conversation starter for others who see it. Call it “Bright-Sided” clothing.

I was reading the book Measuring the Immeasurable: The Scientific Case for Spirituality, when I came across this line by biologist Bruce Lipton:

“Consequently, most of of our personal and cultural problems arise from the belief that we are running our lives with our conscious desires and aspirations.” He adds, “Yet our lives usually don’t match our intentions.”

Why not?

Why don’t our lives match our intentions?

Don’t our intentions attract our reality?

Isn’t the Law of Attraction real?

Lipton goes on to explain, “Generally, the reason we fail to get what we desire is not because the Universe does not want us to succeed, but because we undermine our own efforts with ‘invisible’ limiting behaviors.”

This is so relevant to understanding the Law of Attraction.

What I’ve been teaching for years now — in my books, such as The Key, Zero Limits, The Attractor Factor, and Attract Money Now — and in my audio programs, such as The Missing Secret and The Secret to Attracting Money — is this: what you get is not based on what you consciously think, but on what you unconsciously think.

In other words, the attractor in your mind is the “invisible limiting behavior” Lipton refers to in his quote. Change that and you’ll have a different result.

This explains why some people were aghast that I had an “adventure” in Russia. They thought because I know the Law of Attraction that I am somehow immune from the more challenging experiences of life.

I’m human. I have old programs in my mind, too. As I said in the previous blog post, I had early programming about Russia. It had nothing to do with Russia. That early programming was the “invisible limiting behavior” that attracted my experience in Russia.

A few of the teachers in the movie The Secret have had life challenges broadcast by the media and made public.  Does that mean the Law of Attraction doesn’t work, or does it mean each had some unconscious programming even they weren’t aware of that got attracted into reality?

Don’t be too quick to judge.

Each of us has limiting programming in our unconscious mind.

Even you.

Yes, you.

No wonder some people say the Law of Attraction doesn’t work. They have the superficial understanding that if they think something, it should automatically get attracted into their life.

It doesn’t work that way.

Instead, you attract what you un-consciously believe and expect.

The shocking truth about the Law of Attraction is that it does work – but not in a way to make your life non-stop ice cream and Disneyland rides; but instead to make it a non-stop process of awakening.

That’s the reason you’re here.

Bruce Lipton and others — including me – teach that those unconscious programs in your mind can be deleted or changed.

As you become more aware, you clear up the old baggage under the floorboards of your mind and make your life less stressful.

Then you can have a more Disneyland-like ride through life.

But it rarely happens overnight.

Some of the tools I use to accomplish this awakening are —

1. Zero Limits. I still use the four phrases from ho’oponopono to clear myself. As Dr. Hew Len admits, this is a non-stop process. You can’t do it once. You have to do it forever. That’s how much clutter is in your mind. He’s been doing it for 25 years. How long have you been doing it?

2. EFT. I still use the famous “tapping” cure to handle most things that come up for me. It’s fast, easy, and free. Are you using it?

3. Coaching. Since the programming in your mind is invisible to you, having an objective outside party works wonders in getting clear fast. I still use a coach today. Everyone needs one. Do you have one?

I also suggest you read such mind-expanding books as Bruce Lipton’s new book, Spontaneous Evolution, and my own new book, Attract Money Now.

Remember, you are unconsciously attracting what you get in your life – but that’s not cause for blame or guilt; it’s just stimulus to clear the limiting programming so you are free to live a life of Divine inspiration and moment-by-moment awe.

Expect Miracles.

Ao Akua,

Joe

PS — If you want to use the Law of Attraction to attract money, you need to get clear of the invisible programming in you around money. Read my latest book on the subject, free, at www.attractmoneynow.com or get the beautiful printed hardcover book, with a free DVD of a live presentation on attracting money, by clicking right here.

I made a lot of mistakes in going to Russia last month. Because I didn’t pay attention to the yellow flags before I got on the plane to Moscow, I paid a penalty. The punishment was almost ten thousand dollars, psychological and physical abuse, and a harrowing  escape to freedom that I’ll never forget.

Truth is, it’s been difficult to talk about the trip. It was traumatic. I told a handful of friends about it and they saw my pain. I’ve been tapping, clearing, and emotionally releasing ever since my return.

Because there’s a lesson here for you, too, let me share the story with you. Pull up a chair, pour some coffee,  and let me tell you about it…

It all began when my vice-president of marketing got excited about a speaking engagement for me in Moscow. He was far more enthusiastic than me about a trip to Russia. He saw it as the trip of a lifetime. I saw it as a dangerous trek to the former enemy of the USA. After all, I grew up fearing Russia would drop a bomb on me. That early programing was still in my mind. I didn’t want to go.

But I allowed myself to get swayed by the excitement of my staff. That was my first mistake. I was receiving yellow flags and ignoring them.

I allowed the negotiations to continue and before I knew it I was agreeing to two two-day speaking events, many interviews, news conferences, TV shows, and book store autograph parties. That’s a cruel pace. My assistant assured me I would have time off. But that never appeared in the schedule, despite my repeated objections.

Yet another yellow flag.

As we got closer to the time I was to fly to Russia, we still didn’t have plane tickets, or a Visa, or complete payment of my fee.

More yellow flags.

At this point I should have stopped the trip. But by now the system was in gear. It had a life of its own. Plus I had signed a contract. I was legally obligated to go. As I packed for the trip, the tickets, Visa, and payment appeared, all at the last minute. There was no time to review any of it. But one thing was clear:

I was going to Russia. 

My friend Mark Ryan was my traveling companion.  A lot of people wanted to be the one to go with me. But Mark agreed to help me in a pinch, be my support, and get an all-expense paid trip to Russia in exchange. He got the deal of a lifetime.

He wanted to film as much of our travels and my media appearances as possible, and create a documentary on DVD we would later sell.

It was a win-win arrangement. We had a plan. We were excited. We managed to survive the eleven hour flight to Moscow by talking, eating, drinking, and laughing. Little did we know what we were in for.

We landed in Moscow, waited on the plane as a medical doctor took the temperature of every passenger (in case we had Swine Flu), were escorted through Russian VIP customs (a wonderful way to enter a country), and were met by fans who had flowers, cards, and a huge sign welcoming me to Russia. It felt loving.

But then things quickly turned for the worse.

The people picking us up (my translator and promoter) led us to a limo, got our luggage for us, and then announced they were taking me to a live television show.

I still can’t believe it, even as I write this.

After an eleven hour flight, worn out and disoriented from the trip, I was told I was going right to a TV interview.

I was stunned.

Since I had signed a contract to agree to do media there, I had little choice. Plus I was now in Russia, far from home, and dependent on my translator and their transportation.

The insane pace never let up after that. I went to numerous interviews, press conferences, book signings and more. Moscow became a blur as they shuffled me from one media event to another.

And of course, there was the two-day seminar to do. Mark delivered part of the event, which saved my voice and my energy. If it weren’t for him, I’d be buried in Russia today. I owe him my life.

While I got a brief tour of the Kremlin and Red Square, I was followed by a news crew. I was never “off” and could never relax. It wasn’t fun.

From Russia we were taken to Siberia. The people there were warm and loving, but the pace was just as intense. There were more interviews, a two-hour filming for a movie, and of course another two-day event.

At one point I felt so sick I thought I was going to pass out on stage. Again, Mark — who wasn’t resting much better than me but didn’t have as much to do as me — saved the day by delivering almost a third of the seminar. 

After all of this insanity, we went to St. Petersburg. This is where I was to finally have off time. Going there was more a gift to Mark than to me, as he had requested it before we ever left the US. He had always wanted to see the city. We did a little sight seeing there, slept in a little, and in general got to relax some.

But the worst was yet to hit.

The day before we were to leave St. Petersburg and begin the trek home, a kind woman at the hotel front desk phoned Mark to say she noticed our Visa was expiring that night.

She explained that with an expired Visa, we would be in trouble. There would be fines, and more. She said we would be in danger from the authorities. We could be detained, a nice code word for house arrest.

Mark called the US Embassy and the American Consulate. We were told in no uncertain times that we had to get out of Russia by midnight or else.

They said, “Whatever it takes, do not be here after midnight. You can be detained for a week or more, pay heavy fines, questioned, forbidden to ever return to Russia again, and more.”

We were told, “You will hate what they do to you.”

We were clearly in danger.

Mark blew a gasket and went into action. We scrambled to find a way to the border. The people who brought us to Russia didn’t seem very concerned. They ordered dessert and coffee. We knew getting out by midnight was our problem.

There were no flights going out before midnight that night. We had to find a ride out. It took an hour to find a taxi that was willing (and legal) to take us to the Russian border. Once we did, we spent the next three hours holding our breath as the driver raced through the dark and the rain, on the scary back roads of Russia, darting in and out of traffic and scaring us to death, in an attempt to make it to the border by midnight.

Talk about a hair raising experience. At one point Mark screamed at the driver, “Stop it! I can’t take this anymore! Slow down!”

We had to go through three military check points. We went over rough roads with so many deep holes it  seemed the roads had been bombed. We were nearly hit by semi-trucks burrowing down the one-lane country roads. The whole experience was surreal.

We made it to the border — with fifteen minutes to spare.

But we weren’t allowed across.

The Russia border patrol guards didn’t speak English. Our papers were not in order, either. We were supposed to have stamped documents for every hotel we stayed at. We didn’t. And we looked highly suspicious, standing in the dark and rain near midnight, trying to cross into Finland before our Visa expired in only minutes.

You can imagine the fear. I felt like I was in a war movie, escaping from enemy lines. The border inspector didn’t just ask us questions, he went through our luggage, piece by piece, with a little flashlight in hand.

Another military guard explained, in broken English, that our papers were not “proper.” We explained we had no clue about the law, policy or customs of Russia. He finally let us across.

But then the driver said that was as far as he was taking us.

You can’t imagine the danger or the disbelief.

We had already been warned of cab drivers who take you to the middle of nowhere, rob you, and leave you for dead.

We were standing across the Russian border, now on Finland soil, with the cold, rain and dark around us, with no transportation.

None.

Talk about feeling lost.

Alone.

Abandoned.

Fearing for our lives.

I remember silently asking myself, “Where’s God in this situation? Where’s the Divine?”

I also remember hearing the answer, “Trust.”

Mark negotiated with the driver to take us a little further into Finland, where we could connect with another ride. We did.

The next ride was a van of young Russians trying to get to the Helsinki airport. I wondered if they were escaped criminals. The van was hot and humid, the Russian radio music loud, and no one spoke English. I did a lot of cleaning on that ride. We sat in that van for three hours, arriving at the Helsinki airport at 3 AM — and they were closed.

Obviously we made it out of Russia — after I spent almost ten thousand dollars (!) on new flight tickets  for Mark and myself.

But what a terrible, traumatic adventure to live through.

And I’ve only told you the main highlights.

I didn’t mention the car accident in Siberia where I hurt my back, the Russian hecklers at the events who embarrassed me in front of the crowds, or the never-ending media pace that caused me to understand why some rock stars become drug addicts or die young.

When I told a friend who has lived in Russia about this adventure, she said, “You were thrown to the Russian wolves! No American should ever go there without a professional Russian escort set up in the US in advance.” She added, “Not having a valid Visa in Russia is a death-defying danger.”

When I met with Michael Abedin, publisher of Austin All Natural magazine, at the grand opening of the Vitale Cigar Bar in Wimberley, Texas, he said, “You have the look of a great warrior about you.”

What does that mean?

“You look tired and exhausted, but you returned from battle wiser, stronger, and transformed.”

The lesson: There were yellow flags on the field before I ever left the US for Russia. But I didn’t heed them. You must hone your feelings to know when the Universe is warning you that something is off.

The more you listen and obey, the easier your life becomes.

You can’t listen to other people: you have to listen to your own inner guidance system.

You have to watch the flags.

And you have to act on what you see.

May this lesson make your life easier.

Finally, how did I attract this ordeal?

Was the Law of Attraction involved at all?

As I’ve said many times before, the Law of Attraction is a Law. It’s always working.

If that’s the case, how did I attract the Russia drama?

Think back to what I wrote at the beginning of this post. I mentioned I had grown up believing Russia was the enemy. That fear was still alive in me. It was alive in Mark, too.  We had had several conversations about our fears before we ever left the US.

Together we attracted the experience based on our potent belief in what we were taught in our youth to fear. Had we done a better job of clearing before we ever left the States, we might not have attracted this experience.

Keep this in mind: you will always attract what you love, hate or fear.

Emotions are powerful attractors.

Since you have a choice, choose love.

And watch the flags.

Ao Akua,

Joe

PS – Please don’t think Russia was a horrible place. It’s a fascinating country and culture, so big it’s impossible to comprehend. As I wrote in my book The Attractor Factor, you can turn anything into something good. I ate well in Russia (and learned vodka does indeed solve all problems), met some wonderful people (the beautiful translator in Siberia, pictured above with me with the Hollywood smile, was an enchanting princess I fell in love with), visited some interesting places (such as Catherine the Great’s Summer Palace, above, and Peter the Great’s headquarters, where I posed with the sexy lass immediately above), was given gifts (such as a 7-string Russian guitar), and became the first Law of Attraction Secret movie rock star in Russia (who just needed a bulldog rock star manager). While we experienced danger, we also survived it. While we experienced fear, faith got us through. I may visit Russia again one day, as I found it and its people fascinating, but under different circumstances. Next time, I’ll pay more attention to the flags.