Tag: beliefs

When I was in Kuwait, speaking on positive thinking and happiness, a skeptical man in the audience politely asked, “Where is the evidence that happiness will make a positive difference in my life?”

I smiled.

Even though two other speakers at the same event were recognized psychologists on happiness (one a Harvard graduate), and had already delivered compelling evidence for the benefits of positive thinking and positive psychology, this man wanted something more.

Well, I had an answer for him.

“You can find evidence for whatever you want to believe,” I replied.

“If you want to believe happiness works, then research online and you’ll find evidence to support your belief,” I continued.

“If you want to believe unhappiness is better, then research online and you can find evidence to support that belief,” I added.

And then I delivered the punch line.

“If there is evidence for both happiness and unhappiness as ways of life, which are you going to choose?”

The crowd applauded.

In Kuwait in my dishdasha with bestselling author Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky

I don’t know if the man got the point or not. The crowd seemed to. But the polite skeptic was coming from a mindset that was arguing for his own limitations.

After all, why ask for proof that happiness is better unless you want to remain unhappy?

And why would anyone want to remain unhappy?

Author Richard Bach famously wrote, “Argue for your limitations and sure enough, they’re yours.”

Many people want to stay unhappy because they believe it serves them.

They believe it keeps them “real.”

They believe if they get happy, they may not do anything, or may be denying “reality.”

What they don’t seem to understand is unhappy people are less productive, practical, realistic, healthy, humorous or social.

I learned this back in the 1980s, when I studied with Barry Neil Kaufman, author of such books as To Love Is to Be Happy With.

Barry explained there are myths around unhappiness.

One of them is the belief that unhappiness will motivate you while happiness will not.

As Barry explained it,  the truth is that unhappiness will keep you stuck, while happiness will propel you forward by the simple joy of living.

My understanding of limiting beliefs went even deeper when I started working with Mandy Evans, who I often call the original Miracles Coach.

Question your beliefs

Mandy says some of our top limiting beliefs are —

1. I should be able to make lots of money, but I can’t.

2. I do not deserve success and happiness.

3. I need to think positive every day to change my limiting beliefs.

4. If someone cheats me or betrays me I have to get even or live with resentment.

5. If I were happy, I wouldn’t do anything.

6. Feeling bad motivates me to change things.

7. If I do not give people what they want, I will end up all alone.

8. I should have worked this out by now.

9. I cannot earn a living doing something I like.

10. Better stop wanting; if you get your hopes up, you’ll just get hurt.

Mandy says for each belief that seems true, ask yourself three questions:

1. Why do I believe that?

2. What might happen if I didn’t believe that?

3. Is that true?

To better grasp all of this, read Mandy’s books, Emotional Options and Travelling Free, available from Amazon, bookstores, or http://mandyevans.com/the-breakout-store

As I’ve often said, we live in a belief driven universe; change your beliefs and you get a different universe.

You are welcome to argue for your limitations, of course, or to delete them and believe something better.

Your choice.

Ao Akua,

joe

Believe in your dreams...

PS — The best way to pinpoint and clear limiting beliefs is with a Miracles Coach. Just click right here.

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Elsie Lincoln Benedict – the forgotten wonder woman of self-help who I wrote about here on my February 15, 2015 blog post – taught me something profound.

Book from 1921

I was reading her 1921 book, How to Unlock Your Subconscious Mind (sometimes called Mental Analysis: How to Unlock Your Subconscious Mind) when I came across this insight in the final chapter:

Insight from Elsie

“Whatever your conscious mind affirms, visualizes and suggests to the subconscious, the subconscious will build into your life.”

For you and I today, that’s probably not news. But in 1921, it was a breakthrough new concept.

It basically said that you could choose what you want with your conscious mind, and with intention and imagery, you could get it into the subconscious, where it would take seed and begin to grow.

Why is this so important?

Because Elsie said something else right before revealing that concept that was even more insightful, and something so profound that I had to reread it a few times.

Elsie wrote –

“This newest, hitherto unpublished and most far-reaching of all the discoveries concerning the laws of human life is that every human being GETS his supreme subconscious wish.”

In short, there is a type of prime directive in your subconscious mind.

It is the secret guiding desire for your life.

You may not know what it is, but your subconscious is attracting into your life everything to make it real.

What you are getting right now is a match to the secret desire of your subconscious – your “supreme subconscious wish.”

In my own work, I talk a lot about counter-intentions.

A counter-intention is a hidden belief in contrast to what you consciously say you want.

You might consciously say you want a new job, but unconsciously believe you won’t get one due to the economy (or some other excuse/reason/belief), and your unconscious, being more powerful, will make the counter-intention come true.

Ad for free lectures circa 1917

Elsie would probably agree but her deeper insight is that the subconscious has one major intention and it will allow nothing to come about to contradict it.

Elsie explains –

“Let us repeat: Your supreme subconscious wish dictates your life. It permits nothing seriously to interfere with its materialization. It is automatic, implacable. What you want most of all, as a condition in your life, it will get for you.”

Now think about this.

If your conscious intent is to attract more money – for yourself or others or causes you believe in – but your secret subconscious wish is to avoid money so you consider yourself “spiritual,” then your subconscious mind will make sure that you get your chief hidden intention — and stay broke.

Your subconscious secret desire will win.

It’s the same scenario with anything you can name.

Want a relationship but secretly want to stay alone because it feels safer?

Then nothing you do will work because the secret intent of your subconscious will control the outcome. You will be alone but “safe.”

Want better health but secretly want to stay ill so you can avoid taking actions and risks in the world?

Then your overriding subconscious desire will make sure you stay ill. You will be sick but “risk free.”

Elsie goes on to explain that your secret desire is for a feeling or condition, not anything specific. She says –

“Our supreme subconscious wish is never for any specific thing or person but for a condition, a certain avenue of self-expression.”

Elsie’s insight, offered in 1921, is a mind opener.

Elsie Lincoln Benedict

Here’s why –

First, realizing you have a secret subconscious “prime directive” helps explain why you are attracting what you have in your life: your subconscious insists on it.

Second, realizing you can change your subconscious secret desire to something else – with your conscious mind affirming and visualizing a new outcome – is enlightening and empowering.

Once again, Elsie has rocked my world.

I trust you see the power of these insights from our dear woman of the 1920s.

But here’s a suggestion –

You can sit and reflect on what your subconscious might want for you, which will help explain what you are attracting into your life.

You can then use your conscious mind to offer new instructions to your subconscious, reprogramming it to help you attract more of what you consciously prefer.

Got it?

Elsie was pointing the way to the hidden operations in our mind, long before positive psychology and neuroscience came into play.

Thank you, Elsie.

I love you.

Ao Akua,

Joe

PS – Unraveling your own beliefs can be tricky, since you are the one wrapped up inside of them. The fastest way to expand your mind is with the help of your own Miracles Coach. Check out Miracles Coaching.

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What I teach is that when you change your inner beliefs, your outer life changes.

In other words, what you are attracting today is due to your mental programming, whether you consciously realize it or not.

Your beliefs set up a “filter” in your mind.

Your brain then only allows you to perceive what is a match to your existing beliefs.

Given that, how do your change your beliefs – especially when you may not even know what they are?

There are lots of ways, but here’s a new one that is easy, fun, and a joy to do http://www.OneMoreDayCD.com

Here’s the story —

Brain Change in 3 Minutes

Every song on my forthcoming new album is a type of “3-minute self-help book.”

In other words, each song delivers a powerful message, and in about three minutes.

This is a breakthrough new way to get the positive messages I teach straight into your mind, by simply *listening* to this music.

The messages are the ones I spend entire books writing about, whether how to “Nevillize” a goal, or attract what you want, to songs designed to motivate, inspire, and awaken.

So, each song is a self-help book in about 3 minutes.  🙂

I posted a video on Facebook of me talking about one new song and over 12,000 people went to see it and many wanted that one song right then and there.

That song – called ‘Deep Within’ – and all the others, will be on my new album.

Another song, called ‘Some Thoughts,’ teaches you that some thoughts are crappy, and some are wise – but also teaches you how to change your thoughts “like a jukebox in your mind.”

That song’s on the new album, too.

The album is called One More Day.

The subtitle is “Life Lessons in Hypnotic Song.”

http://www.OneMoreDayCD.com

Besides my band of legends – like Daniel Barrett, Glenn Fukunaga, drummer Joe Vitale and G-Monk Mathew Dixon – I’ve also added Grammy nominated singer Ruthie Foster. (!)

The new album will come on audio CD, with a booklet containing photos and lyrics.

It will be a limited-edition collectible.

It will ship (around April) with a surprise gift.

You can pre-order one or more (at a dramatic discount) right here — http://www.OneMoreDayCD.com

This will be a fun and easy new way to change your brain so you can begin to have, do, or be more of what you really desire.

You deserve it, right?

Invest in *you*.

Expect Miracles.

Ao Akua,

joe

PS – You can also see that famous Facebook video of me in the studio talking about one of the songs at http://www.OneMoreDayCD.com

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“I’m not a fan of your books.”

“I’m not a fan of your saying that.”

“But your books don’t jell with my experience.”

“Of course they don’t. Your experience is based on your beliefs, and your beliefs don’t match my beliefs, so you naturally can’t be a fan of what you don’t believe.”

“Huh?”

Click image to read Vol 1 and 2 free

“Look. Your life has been one of struggle. So when you look around, you don’t see positive things. But you are looking around through a brain filter of limiting beliefs, and those beliefs are giving you the life experience of struggle you have.”

“See? You don’t make any sense!”

“Well, if you believed in positive thinking and positive doing, and began to see the positive in what’s already around you, you would attract more positive experiences, and then you would agree with my positive teachings.”

“But that’s not my experience!”

“Exactly. Your current beliefs are attracting your current experiences. You’ll get the same thing in the future as you have in the past until you change your beliefs.”

“You’re not in touch with reality!”

“I’m not in touch with your reality. But I was once. I used to think in terms of struggle, lack, limitation and victimhood. But I spent a lot of time, money and energy to retrain my brain, so today I see and experience miracles.”

“But even if that were true, how do I change my beliefs?”

“The first step is being open to a new view of reality.”

“I’m not sure I can do that.”

“That’s a belief, you know.”

“It is?”

“Yep.”

“Then how do I become aware of my beliefs, since I don’t seem to know what they are?”

“By looking at what you have and asking, ‘What might I believe to attract that into my life?'”

“Will your books help me with that?”

“You mean you haven’t actually read them?”

“I flipped through them.”

“Yes, start with my books.”

“Which one?”

“The one you are resisting reading.”

Ao Akua,

joe

PS – Of course, the faster way to see and change your beliefs is with a trained objective person. Maybe see Miracles Coaching.

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“Affirmations don’t work for me.”

“That’s an affirmation, you know.”

“Huh?”

“Affirmations are anything you affirm as true,” I explained. “You can affirm something positive or something negative.”

“Say what?”

“You said ‘Affirmations don’t work for me’ which is an affirmation that affirmations don’t work for you.”

“I don’t follow.”

“You get what you believe and expect,” I explained. “If you believe affirmations won’t work for you, then you will get the experience of affirmations not working for you.”

“But they really don’t work for me!”

“I know. That’s because you are affirming that they don’t work.”

“You’re confusing me!”

“Look, the meaning you give an event is the belief that attracted it. If you feel affirmations don’t work, then you are attracting experiences to prove that affirmations don’t work. If you switched it, you could attract proof that affirmations do work.”

“But how would I do that when my mind says they don’t work?”

“That’s simply what you currently believe,” I went on. “It’s your current habit of thinking. But you can begin a new habit by beginning a new thought process today.”

“It’s that easy?”

“It’s simple but maybe not easy,” I said. “But you can begin right now.”

“Affirmations do work?”

“That’s a start.”

Ao Akua,

Joe

PS – You can see your beliefs more clearly when you have a trained objective person helping you. Consider http://www.MiraclesCoaching.com

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